The whole fault
by Aiedail Liadeia
Summary: "Now he was Captain Levi from the Scouting Legion, also known as Humanity's Strongest Soldier. Bullshit. He was humanity's most bored bastard, and he didn't have any ambition of being anything more." A continuation that considers events from episode 25 of the first season of the anime. Eren x Levi. OOC. Now edited. Warnings: Underage, because Eren.
1. Humanity's most bored bastard

**The whole fault**

Chapter 1: Humanity's most bored bastard

The man sat at an empty table, with an empty cup of tea in front. A half consumed candle was the only thing preventing the shadows to completely engulf his view. It was enough though, for the shadows hid the extent of a dining room that was too fancy to be sitting comfortably. It was the first moment of quiet and solitude he could get since the whole Stohess District mess. Surely Erwin was still busy defending his neck from the Military Police, Hanji was doing who knew what with that forsaken, crystallized girl and he didn't have a squad to bother anymore. The perfect time to enjoy a bitter cup of black tea. But the warm liquid ran out too fast for his liking. And so the effects of the painkillers he was given for his leg. Slowly but surely, it was starting to throb again, as if to remind him that what was supposed to kill pain, could only calm his suffering at a tolerable level and during limited time. At least, it was enough so he could get up and hobble to the kitchen to get the pot with the rest of the infusion.

Crap. Everything was impossibly fucked up, but he wouldn't ask himself how it came to be. He wouldn't be the one to bother. Things were already like that, and with all certainty, they would still be for a long time to come. It wasn't as if he had the time or energy to look for reasons anyway. It was simply how existing in the world worked. People died, it was the only given in life. When he got to the kitchen, he soon found out the pot was already cold. The man cursed.

No, he didn't have the energy to ask stupid questions. His were already answered. For instance, he knew exactly which was his reason to get up every morning. Fight and kill living things, titans of preference. That was the only thing he was truly good at, the only thing left for him to do. He would put his ability and hatred at good use, which was to slaughter the only creatures that were even more disgusting than humans. And that was it.

He remembered, in a distant past, that he did have a dream. In his youth, what he wanted was a little portion of freedom to decide what his existence would be like. If it would have been up to him, he would have chosen a quiet life, with plenty of tea to drink, a couple of books, and more hours of sleep. What wouldn't he give to be able to sleep at night, to close his eyes and fall into blissful oblivion, with no nightmares, no bitter memories and no cold. But all that bright future wasn't more than the idealistic fantasy of an imbecile with too much time in his hands. He had left those days behind. For good. Now he was Captain Levi from the Scouting Legion, also known as Humanity's Strongest Soldier. Bullshit. He was humanity's most bored bastard, and he didn't have any ambition of being anything more. The man tasted the remaining tea. Indeed, it was cold and dull and beyond all possibility of being saved. Clicking his tongue in disgust, he threw the content in the closest sink. After his fruitless journey to the kitchen, he hobbled back to the overly decorated room.

His arse wasn't yet touching the chair when the door on his left opened quite brusquely. A soldier, whose name Levi didn't care to remember, stood there with a lamp, his face contorted by worry.

–Captain Levi, sorry for the interruption, but we have a situation with cadet Jaeger –said the soldier, clearly out of breath. From the moment the man heard the word "Jaeger", he was already on his way, ignoring the protest of his leg and following the soldier down the corridor. The Captain was quickly guided to the room in which the boy was left. More soldiers were gathered outside Jaeger's door, all armed and on edge. Levi soon understood why. Even through the walls, he could hear the screams ripping the boy's throat.

–Will someone explain what happens? –he asked with a severe tone.

–Eren Jaeger seems to have awoken and is out of control now –said one of the soldiers.

–I see –said the man. Something had to be done quickly, before Jaeger had the chance to transform and before these soldiers would piss out of fear.

–Sir, do we have to call Squad Leader Hanji?

–No, we don't need more troublemakers –said the Captain, taking a lamp from a soldier–. I'm going in, you stay alert.

–Yes, sir –they responded.

Just like that, the man entered the room and shut the door behind him. Indeed, the boy was contorting uncontrollably on his bed and shouting his lungs out, as if being consumed in great pain. With careful steps, the man approached. Hovering the lamp over the bed, Levi saw that the boy had his eyes wide open, but didn't seem to notice his presence. He wasn't seeing at all. His mind was stuck in some sort of vision, some nightmare he wasn't capable of waking just yet.

–Oi, Eren. Eren –the man called. The boy directed his eyes at him, but not quite returning his gaze–. I'm in no mood to deal with your stupidity now, wake up –he ordered in a commanding tone, but it had no effect on the boy–. I said, wake up –he grunted and prepared his hand to release a slap aimed at the other's face.

His hand was stopped in mid air. Before Levi could fully register what was happening, he was violently pulled forwards. In other circumstances, he could have held his ground with no effort. But at that right moment, his left leg hurt terribly and his knees bent with no warning. He landed roughly over Eren's chest. The next second, the boy was exchanging their positions. Levi was suddenly trapped between the mattress and the heavy body of the young one.

–Get off me! –he commanded, but that seemed to have the opposite effect on the boy.

Eren was prone to do stupid things, it was extensively known. But Levi never thought he would be capable of worse. Pinning him in place with predatory eyes, the youngster closed the remaining distance, and put his open mouth over the man's lips. For some inexplicable reason, Levi didn't react, not immediately, and that gave Eren the chance he needed to keep going. Not letting go of his mouth, the boy brusquely invaded the space between his legs, separating his thighs with the strong grip of hands turned claws. The pain that shot through Levi's left leg was enough to paralyze him momentarily. Then, his eyes shut tightly when he felt the swelling of the boy's lower body being pressed against him, waist firmly pressed against waist. Not losing any time, Eren let go of his mouth, only to assault his next target. He took the fabric of his cravat with his teeth and started to struggle with the cloth until it was completely off. His exposed neck was soon ravished. He pressed, he sucked, he even dared to lick. Not content with that, he started to bite, over and over again on every piece of skin that happened to be near. Then, Levi's lips received the attack anew. With no warning, Eren roughly pushed his tongue past Levi's lips and into his mouth. That hot tongue forced his way through all corners of his insides, fiercely tasting and demanding control. A control Levi wasn't willing to give.

Sensing that was his opportunity, the man bit Eren's tongue as hard as he could. The kiss was filled with a coppery taste and the boy grunted in pain. Eren let go the grip of his wounded leg in order to grab his chin. That was his mistake. Released from the pain, Levi had enough clarity of mind to send a powerful blow to Eren's face. The boy's head flew to the side with the impact.

Slowly, it returned to its place. This time, the green orbs were actually returning his gaze. Green orbs that, for a pair of seconds, didn't seem to understand the situation at all.

–Capt'n? –the brat slurred between panting. Just to be sure, the man gave him another slap on the opposite cheek. Eren cringed. The brat was back on his senses. His eyes widened with terror. They looked for his, asking for an explanation. For eternal moments, Levi just returned the boy's stare with a scowl of his own. A series of multiple emotions rushed over rich, green eyes: surprise, guilt, fear.

–Captain? Is everything alright? –asked a soldier from outside.

Quickly, Eren got off of him as if burned, dragging himself as far in the bed as he could. Not looking at him, Levi extracted himself from the bed, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and hobbled to the door. When he opened it, the soldiers outside nearly jumped.

–The situation is under control. Dismissed –he said with a harsh tone, and threw the door closed. All the presents seemed to relax visibly. After making the official salute, they quickly departed.

So did Levi. Like an automaton, he made his way through the corridor, back to the fancy dining room. His legs trembled. His hobbling worsened. He was about to reach his forgotten chair when he tripped. He fell gracelessly over his knees, letting out a gasp he couldn't quite contain. With erratic fingers, he reached for his own neck, deprived from its usual cravat and certainly full of bite marks. Some places were still wet from the assault, some others even hurt. Levi let out a quivering breath, still tasting the blood in his mouth. Then, his gaze fell downward.

A curse escaped from his lips as terror overflowed. His hand covered forcefully the bulge that sat uncomfortably between his legs. In response, the swelling throbbed against his palm. Levi cursed once more, while a single question occupied his mind.

Why? Why him?

* * *

Levi sat at his desk, a document filled with his own handwriting laying on top. Leaving the quill aside, he regarded the ink staining his fingers with a frown. Fucking dirty. But there was no point in going to wash it out, for a tower of paperwork still awaited to be done. With a sight, he reclined against his armchair.

It was good to be back at the Head Quarters. Even the cold walls of stone felt far more welcoming and safe than the hideous buildings at Stohess District. And his leg was healing properly, the pain subsiding more and more with each passing day.

Still, he had been incapable of finding any peace of mind since they had returned. Unwanted thoughts invaded his mind at inopportune moments. Unwanted feelings wandered his guts when he had to focus on more important matters. Those clouded eyes, those hot hands and that hungry mouth were too fresh in his memory. And some of the marks left in his neck still had a long time to fade. To forget it all, he had immersed himself in tons and tons of work, but when he wasn't filling worthless reports, he was thinking and overthinking about his own circumstances.

All his reasoning led to the same conclusion. Eren was dangerous. Something in him was changing. Something got loose. The same boy who barely had any courage to address him before, suddenly seemed to be lusting for him. Where did that come from? Was it always there? How was he caught with a low guard? How was that he, of all people, came to underestimate the boy? But the worst part wasn't the attack itself, nor the scars that lingered on his neck, nor even the fact that he didn't stop it. The worst was his own reaction afterwards. He was aroused. And he still couldn't fit it in his head.

That was enough to torment him, but it was late at night when the ghosts hunted him more easily; uninvited pictures of a childhood he wanted to forget. His mother, his lovely mother, resigning to her own body so he could have food in his stomach. How her eyes shone less and her smile seemed weaker. How her strength was slowly consumed while otherS took carnal pleasure from her. How sex finally ended her life.

Levi would close his eyes and push aside those memories, promising to himself the same and only thing he kept swearing since he was old enough to understand things. That the same wouldn't happen to him. That he would never be touched in a lascivious way. He would never be the object of anyone's desire.

What a massive hypocrite he was. He vowed no to be anyone's whore, yet he was incapable of fighting a teenager brat getting in between his legs. Eren was at that time of youth when the lower half of the body claimed for attention, but as a grown man, he was too old to give too much attention to–

There was a knock on his door. Levi noticed it was already past midnight. A night patrol soldier? He wouldn't be bothered unless there was a situation. What other option there was?

–I brought you tea, sir –said the boy from the other side. Shit.

–Get lost –was his immediate answer. There was silence. For a second the man thought Eren knew better than disobey orders. But then, the door opened and the brat entered–. I said get lost –growled the Captain, sending a furious glare from his desk.

–I heard, sir –he answered, not even flinching.

–Then why don't you follow my orders for once?

–Please, hear me out first.

–I don't have time to waste it on you. Go.

–I'm sorry for what I did. Please accept this as an apology –he said, leaving the cup of tea onto his desk. Beside the cup, Eren left a perfectly folded cloth. His cravat, the one he had left behind that night.

–If that's all you had to say, get back to the basement –the man said with a calm, cold voice, directing his eyes back to the paperwork. He heard steps, the door opened, but before hearing it being closed, Eren spoke again.

–I just want to leave clear, that I didn't mean to harm you –he said, honesty expelling from his firm, tenor voice. Then the door shut.

Levi disarmed on his chair, releasing a tension he wasn't quite aware of. Who the fuck did he think he was? Indeed, something within Eren wasn't the same. Invading his office against his orders, ensuring no harm when he was the military superior. The adult. Damn him.

His eyes went to the folded cravat. He reached for it to inspect it closely. Having a suspicion, he brought it to his nose. It was recently washed. The cup of tea sat near. Soon he found there were a couple of biscuits on the plate he didn't notice before. He took the cup to taste the content. Ah, yes. There was genuine effort in the tea, but no expertise. Clearly, Eren had good intentions, but had no idea how to make a proper cup of tea.

Levi sighted. He couldn't simply stay actionless, dwelling like a fucking damsel in distress. He was a grown man, damnit. Maybe his body could have those reactions, but he wouldn't lose his head because of that. Before impulsively kicking the shit out of Eren, he would prove to himself and to the boy he was in charge of the situation.

He stood and exited his office. Following the hallway, it didn't take him much to reach Eren.

–If you're going to apologise, at least do it with a well brewed tea –he claimed, gaining the attention of the boy. He stopped in mid-track.

–Captain?

–Follow me –the man simply said, and walked past him at a quick pace. He led the way to the kitchen, where he immediately got his hands at work, Eren watching closely–. Making decent tea is harder than it looks. If the water is too cold you won't get flavor from the leafs, if you leave the leafs too much time you will spoil the infusion.

–How do I do it then? –asked the boy.

–Do as I say –the man replied. Then he proceeded with instructions. As the boy followed them thoroughly, Levi took some distance to appreciate him from afar. Eren's hands were steady over the pot, his eyes were fixed in the fire. He was absolutely concentrated in his task, not seeming too nervous by his presence.

His suspicions could only be confirmed by what he had in front. What happened with the pathetic brat that not so long ago whimpered over each hazard? Well, the boy was whimpering no longer. The hardships were leaving permanent stains in him, finally. Watching death in the face and fighting it back did that to anyone. Apparently the last mission did that to Eren. In his eyes there was a predatory shadow, in his attitude there was a stronger determination. The naivety left in him was replaced with disillusion and more rage. Newfound courage or mere boldness, Eren was not the same.

–Sir, is ready –said the boy, taking him out of his absorption.

–Let me taste it –commanded the Captain, and the boy moved to the side. He verted the new made infusion in a clean cup, and brought it to his mouth. It wasn't perfect, but better. He verted the content in another cup and handed it to Eren–. Sit –he ordered, placing himself in a table nearby. The boy sat with him.

Silence followed. Levi concentrated on drinking his tea, enjoying silently the warm steam that heated his face. But he couldn't do it quite peacefully, for he felt Eren's eyes staring at him.

–What are you looking at? –he asked brusquely.

–Sir, are you awake because of me? –the boy asked. Levi could have murdered him on sight for considering something that ridiculous.

–You're not that important.

–Then this is how you always spend your nights? –Eren asked. Levi didn't take his eyes away from his cup.

–That's none of your business –he responded, harshly.

–So you don't sleep at all –said the boy. It wasn't a question, but a statement. This brat could get on his nerves.

–When your body is used to it, you only need little rest to feel recovered –Levi asserted with an exasperate voice. And then, the man asked himself why he was going on with the conversation at all.

–Is that you can't sleep, sir? –asked Eren.

–You wouldn't understand, you're just a brat.

–I know what is to be afraid of going to bed –Eren stated. Levi raised his eyes from the cup to stare at the boy.

–Is that so? Dreaming about your mommy perhaps? –he asked, in a challenging way.

–Yes –said the youngster, plainly, almost mockingly with his sincerity–. How did

you know?

–Sometimes I have those too –he answered. The next instant, the man bit his tongue, not knowing what possessed him to reveal such an intimate fact. He brushed it aside to think about more important matters. Eren was running away from sleep too. Levi took the opportunity to look at him more carefully, and he could clearly see the red stains the boy had in his eyes and the dark marks beneath them–. How long has it been that you can't sleep? –he asked.

–A while –the boy said.

–This can affect your training, have you thinked about that?

–Yes. I can't help it though –Eren responded. Of course, Levi knew that too well. When sleep didn't come, there was simply no way to keep the eyes shut. Especially when feeling the crushing weight of all the things that couldn't be changed.

Clicking his tongue, the man emptied his cup with a final sip. He stood and took the crockery to the sink. He was about to start washing it when Eren spoke.

–I wasn't in control of myself, but that's no excuse –said the youngster, the man stopped all action–. I didn't mean to do that to you. I'm really sorry –he finished, his voice firm. Levi left the cups back in place, but refused to turn around to face the boy.

–Bullshit –spit the man–. You can't expect me to believe you –his tone calm and cold.

–I'm not lying, I didn't have the intention...

–You had every fucking intention! I saw it in your eyes!

–It shouldn't have happened that way! –Eren yelled. Levi froze. He turned to shoot daggers at the boy with a menacing stare.

–But it should have happened. How then? Do you have the balls to show me? –he whispered dangerously.

For a couple of seconds, Eren just returned his gaze, his eyes emotionless. Slowly, the boy stood, he got closer and closer. He didn't stop when there were only two steps of distance. He didn't stop when there was just one. Levi stood right where he was. He wouldn't push him away, he wouldn't run. The next moment, he was caught between the sink and the boy's chest. He remained still when Eren cradled his face in his hands. He even remained still when the boy leaned. Their eyes met again. The green orbs he saw with no emotion two seconds ago were now darkened with a storm of them. The next second, Eren's lips were engulfing him.

There it was again, the unexperienced mouth that caressed his with contained passion. It was the same mouth, the same boy, but it felt different somehow. This time, he didn't feel the urge to push him away just yet. New sensations he knew nothing about took possession of him. A certain tickling in the guts, a sudden heat in the cheeks. With his eyes still open, then man could see Eren's face; his brows contorted in a frown, his eyes tightly shut. It was scary how immersed he was in the kiss. After deciding there was no point in having the eyes open, his eyelids fell by their own weight.

The boy's clumsy lips were insistent. Levi couldn't make up his mind. Were those lips trying to convey what the boy couldn't say, or were they only appendages of flesh exchanging saliva? The man felt something wet asking for entrance. Eren was putting himself in a vulnerable position. When the boy slid his tongue between his teeth, it was like offering himself to be bitten once again. And Levi could have. But he didn't. He gave it a teasing squeeze instead. With satisfacción he felt the boy flinch. Eren responded with a move of his own; boldly, he charged at Levi's mouth with a lunge of his tongue.

Levi felt the boy's wetness intertwine with his own. That tongue danced against his with eagerness, as if Eren was savouring him instead of kissing him. The man couldn't help it. A gasp escaped his throat without his consent. The tickle in his gut turned into pricking, the heat in his cheeks was going down to his neck, his breath quickened, and he could hear his heartbeat in his ears. Eren leaned further, pressing their hips together. Levi let out another silent gasp at the intimate contact. Something at the corner of his mind told him things were going too far. But he couldn't find in himself the will to stop the boy. Eren went on and on and on.

Their mouths separated only when air was absolutely needed. Both of them were panting. While trying to regain his breath, Levi's mind cleared partially. Crap. The instant after, Eren was bowing once again in pursuit of his mouth. The man interposed an arm between them. He averted his face when the boy tried to insist. After a couple of seconds, Eren seemed to understand. He let go of his face, of his hips, then took an acceptable distance.

–Go to your room, now –Levi ordered, still out of breath. Eren took a moment to react.

–Yes, sir –he said, his voice grim, disappointed even. With no other words, he abandoned the room. Levi watched his back disappear behind the kitchen's door.

He let out a trembling breath. Then let himself fall in the nearest chair, trying to understand what had just happened.

He had chosen not to push him away when he could have, easily. He had allowed that kiss willingly instead. He had gone through all that trouble because only moments ago he had assured himself he was capable of handling the situation. Because he was the adult, and even though his body betrayed him, his mind was set. But it seemed his mind was also betraying him, for it didn't stand a chance when his body was enjoying the attention that much. Because the quick heartbeat and the heat on his cheeks had to mean something.

That something was wrong with him.


	2. Inappropriate behavior

**The whole fault**

Chapter 2: Inappropriate behavior

Eren laid helplessly awake on his bed. His insomnia had nothing to do with the rough sheets, the wet air of the basement, or the leak that told him it was raining outside. Instead, it started with a question, one that kept appearing in his head like a plague since they returned from Stohess. What the hell was he doing?

For starters, it was clear he was going insane, and the Captain seemed to be the reason why. Ever since he could remember, the man inspired in him a deep admiration he didn't feel towards any other being. He was a man capable of moving mountains, capable of overpowering odds with the strength of his will alone. His small stature and humble origin meant nothing against that greatness. Eren had enough reasons to worship him as the utmost hero. But at that time, when he was a mere child, the Captain was nothing more than a distant figure he didn't have any chance to reach. But when he finally met him, his admiration turned into appreciation.

Captain Levi, though still a hero in his eyes, gained a human side. He was fond of well brewed tea. He enjoyed cleaning. He had serious sleeping issues. He secretly loved his cravat. He hated filling reports and attending meetings. When he suffered from headaches his eyes were more shadowed than usual. He had a hard past. It intrigued him what happened inside his head, what were his motivations, his hopes, his wishes. His convictions. He wanted to know what was right and wrong to him. He wanted to know the man he had entrusted his life to, the man that would stab a blade on him if he had to. At some point, the inclination turned into… infatuation?

He wasn't sure how long it had been, but before noticing, he was slowly getting obsessed with the raven locks that contrasted with that pale skin deprived of sunlight. Those stormy orbs, piercing and deep at the same time. The delicate curves of his neck. That slender waist he died to embrace. Those thin legs that bent almost seductively when he sat. The distant hero was no more. Now, he even could recall how his lips tasted. Cold, soft, hesitant, yet incredibly sweet. He could recall his minute frame pressed against his, stiff and warm. He could recall his scent, soap mixed with a very personal, pleasant smell. He wanted to feel him. To take his mouth, to squeeze his hips. It was driving him mad. Apparently, enough to assault him unconsciously.

Guilt ate him alive for weeks after the incident in Stohess. How the hell did he come to attack his Captain? His hero? Was he that desperate to have him? Were his desires that demanding? Would have he gone all the way? Shit, he was only half conscious at the time, but it took a mere provocation for him to lose control. He refused to think what could have happened if the Captain wouldn't have stopped him. It would do no good. But, he dared to wonder why he stopped him so late. He wasn't sure, for his mind was still foggy at the time, but he thought he remembered seeing bite marks in the man's neck. Bite marks of his doing. It was hard to believe that the same man capable of moving mountains with his will, wasn't capable of rejecting him before getting bitten. Before being pinned. True, he was injured –and Eren himself was the responsible–, but that couldn't be enough reason. Captain Levi wouldn't be touched if he didn't want to.

The doubt gave him hope. He didn't know exactly what he was hoping for, but it gave him the courage to keep trying, to reach forwards and see how far he could get. How far the man would allow him to go. Because reaching forwards was the only option left to him.

Eren was aware. Aware of how wrong it seemed. A man, several years older than him and his superior. Captain Levi was all that. Well, screw it! He would die any given moment, right? One day a guy from the Military Police would finally shot him in the guts, or an angry titan would kidnap him for eleventh time, or maybe the sky would burn and the earth would crack, because the world was so fucked up, it seemed to be putting its best efforts in ending him for good. Before any of that happened, he was determined to live. And live by his own will. Maybe one day, he would be able to move mountains too.

At least, he had apologised. Or tried to, if his shitty tea wouldn't have said otherwise. He wasn't even sure if it made things better. Maybe it fucked up everything! How was he supposed to know? The only thing he knew was that one moment he was expressing his sincere regret, and the next the Captain was daring to… kiss him? Had he even understood that right? Well, kiss him he did, and it was fucking amazing! He could even swear there was a good response. He had swore he was going somewhere. But he didn't know anymore, and it was making him lose his mind little by little. Not like he could go and ask him.

The Captain had been gone for a few days. Apparently, Commander Erwin had some important meeting he couldn't attend to, so the man was sent instead. He wasn't supposed to know, he was just a cadet, but soldiers talked and he couldn't restrain himself from listening. And if what he had heard was right, Captain Levi would return to the Head Quarters that night. He would be upset, he would be tired. Eren didn't know why, but rain put the man in a foul mood. Fouler mood. Would it be too daring if he waited for him? If Captain found there was someone awake waiting to receive him? Even if it cost him some sort of punishment, it would be well worth it.

He got out of bed, wore his boots, his jacket and took a glimpse outside his door. Luckly, it wasn't closed. It hadn't been since they returned from Stohess. Careful to be silent, he took the oil lamp that hung outside his room and left the basement. If he had to guess, the Captain would appear at a back door, maybe the one of the stables. He headed there, sat at the floor near the entrance, and waited. And waited, and waited, hearing the heavy rain fall outside. He couldn't deny he was slightly nervous. Would the Captain be too pissed that he wasn't at the basement? He could almost hear his scolding voice, commanding him to go back to bed. But something in his guts told him he had to be there, to receive the man. It was the least he deserved.

Time passed. At some point he dozed off, for he woke startled when he heard gallop mixing with the rain. He stood quickly, debating with himself if he had to open the door. The gallop stopped. There were steps and muffled words. And then more gallop that fade after a moment. But the seconds passed and the door to the castle remained closed. Eren grew anxious. Without thinking too much he opened the door at once. The first thing he saw was a pair of gray, beautiful eyes, barely growing with surprise. Two second later, he was opening the door further to let the man pass. The man's jacket dripped all over the floor.

–What the fuck are you doing out of bed? –he asked, right after the door was shut again.

–Welcome back, sir. I was waiting for you.

–Tch, I can see that. You were ordered to stay in the basement at night.

–But, sir… –Eren couldn't finish. The Captain snatched the lamp out of his hand, grabbed him by the shoulder and started dragging him along the hallway. The boy surrendered–. Fine, fine –he said, only then he was released from the painful grip–. How was your trip? –he asked politely while walking towards the basement, the man's steps close behind him.

–Boring as fuck –he replied. Eren sighed silently. It was impossible to make conversation with him. They arrived at the stairs leading to the basement without a word, and descended.

The man cursed.

–Shit –the next second came the sound of the lamp smashing against the floor.

–Sir? –Eren was startled. With the dim light of the torches still burning in the near wall, he saw the Captain fallen over the stairs. Immediately he crouched to his eye level.

–Is nothing –answered the man with a somber tone. In the mild darkness, Eren could still make out his silhouette, his hunched shoulders, his bowed head. Somehow, he looked defeated.

–Are you alright?

–I was forced to drink, just that.

–Let me help you.

–And do you think you can help me? –the man retorted. Eren wondered if the question went beyond their current predicament.

–Yes –he said right away. The Captain heaved sarcastically.

–Try if you can –he spat.

Without giving it a second thought, Eren hooked the man's arm over his own shoulders and raised him from the floor, supporting part of his weight. He led him down the stairs, to his room. There, he made sure to close the gate after entering with the man in his grasp. Guessing his way to the bed, he mover blindly until he could leave the Captain safely sitting on it. Next, he looked for his poor nightstand where he always left a candle ready to be lit. With the little flame illuminating the space, Eren knelt before the man. Only then, he could see him closely. Droplets of rain fell from his hair, he shivered lightly, the dark marks under his eyes were too pronounced and his cheeks were flushed. Was that because of the cold or the alcohol? His eyes were downcast, he looked smaller than he was. Drunk, angry, tired. Eren couldn't stop the words that came from his mouth.

–Is there anything I can do for you? –he asked, almost in a whisper. The man raised his eyes, and bore them into Eren's. A silent staring contest took place.

The boy swore those gray, weary eyes spoke silent words to him. Just with his glance the man was capable of telling what he wanted from him. Eren didn't know when he started to lean forwards, as if being absorbed by that gaze, ready to comply with Levi's wish. When the man closed his eyes, giving him allowance, the boy knew he wasn't misunderstanding the signals. And forward he went.

He touched Levi's lips softly, probing at the cold skin with intention but delicacy. A hand came up to grab at the front of his shirt, Eren was pulled lightly. He accepted the command, and stroked the flesh more and more intently, until he was eagerly roaming over those lips with his tongue, waiting for access. The lips parted, and he took his time savoring the insides of that mouth. Levi's tongue molded against his with ease, keeping up with the pace, accepting the caresses.

Cautionaly, Eren wrapped his arms around the man, slowly engulfing his waist, the small of his back, his shoulder blades. The fence of Levi's knees parted. Hell, he could swear that the grip in his shirt was tighter. Eren got closer and closer, assuring his embrace on the man, not quite realising how close he was getting until his hips met the man's. A silent gasp escaped them both, their kiss interrupted. Right there, between them, where two bulges pressed together. To Eren, it was precious proof that told him he wasn't the only one.

–Go on –whispered Levi against his mouth.

–What?

–I said, go on –the man retorted. Eren almost couldn't believe his words. Almost. Was the man asking what he thought the man was asking?

–You sure? –he asked, as if in a daze.

–I won't repeat myself –was Levi's answer.

–Then tell me how –he dared to ask. The man clicked his tongue.

–Find a way –he murmured back. Eren heaved.

Between the sudden terror and the overwhelming excitement, the boy felt about to burst. This could go wrong in many ways. It could even cost his neck, right? But frankly, he was too happy to even care. He would lose his neck sooner or later; when he did, at least he would know that he acted when his Captain told him to. So he threw caution to the wind, followed his impulses and took what would probably be the riskiest decision he could at the moment.

First, the wet clothes had to go away. He took out the man's drenched jacket and started to undo the buckles of his maneuver gear. With a little effort, he managed to take off the leader straps and then the boots, that revealed small, pale feet. He fidgeted with the knot of his cravat before sliding carefully the fabric out of his neck. Then he unbuttoned the shirt and let it fall out of thin shoulders. The sight was breathtaking. A torso that even displaying well defined muscles, was slender and delicate to the eyes. The white skin was covered in numerous scars, the straps of the gear forever stamped. Upright, gray eyes were hidden behind black locks.

–You too –he commanded in a silent voice.

–Yes –Eren replied. Then, he unceremoniously got rid of his boots, his jacket and his own shirt, thinking how couldn't he anticipate that it was only fair to be as nude as the man. He had no time to apologize though. The moment the shirt was off, Levi jerked him by the neck and pressed himself against his chest. The man was trembling profusely, goosebumps spreading all over his exposed body–. Shit, you're freezing –Eren gasped, heat filling his entire body at the sudden contact with bare skin. He didn't lose any more time. Gently, he pushed the man backwards, to make him lie over the sheets. He soon followed, making sure to cover them both with the few blankets of his bed.

Once lying, Eren's first reflex was to envelope Levi in his arms, sharing his body heat and relishing how wonderful it was to feel the man's frame with his own, in spite of their temperature difference. How wonderful it felt to have him trapped between himself and the mattress. How nice was to fill his nose with that endearing scent, even if it was mixed with tobacco and alcohol.

–Don't get distracted –mumbled the man.

–I'm not –he said back, looking for those irresistible lips with his hungry ones.

Not waiting too much for permission, Eren got into Levi's mouth at once, roaming through it wholly. When that wasn't enough, he descended along the man's neck leaving wet kisses on his path, surprised when shivers and little gasps started to come out of Levi. That gave him the courage to keep going on and on. When he got to Levi's throat, he savoured it slowly, caressing the soft skin with his lips, and even giving soft nibbles of appreciation to the apple that went up and down along the shaking breath.

Not letting go of his neck, Eren took his time tracing the shape of the man's waist with his hands, soon encountering the hem on his pants. Discreetly, he unbuttoned them and, without any sort of warning, he slipped his hand inside. He went lower and lower, until Levi gave out an actual moan when he wrapped his hand around what made him a man. Immediately, he trapped Levi's mouth in his while, carefully, he started to rub the delicate flesh. Silenced by the kiss, little moans and gasps escaped in rows, each one of them got to Eren's very core, making him bolder and content.

Levi's legs moved around him in spasms, as if in their own accord; and at some point, the man's hands raised to grab his shoulders, as if looking for some sort of support. To Eren, being able to pleasure this man was satisfying in itself. To hear his muffled moans and feel his spasms knowing he was responsible for them was enough to make him happy. But then, Levi pushed him apart, separating their mouths.

The man gasped for air, over and over. Eren felt the hands that held onto his shoulders slide down to his waist. There, they undid the button of his pants, that were still in place. Out of the blue, his erection was softly groped, reminding him how painful it was becoming. When Eren raised his questioning eye's, he met Levi's defiant orbs, staring at him from under their eyelashes, darkened with want. Eren's mouth went dry. Right, it was only fair.

Not giving it seconds thoughts, the boy pulled the restricting cloth down Levi's hips, soon his own followed. He positioned himself. Their bodies met, manhood against manhood. The soft moans came in pairs.

Tenderly, he leaned his head, so their foreheads touched. Then, Eren took one of Levi's hands in his. With their hands intertwined around their joined lengths, they rubbed together, carefully at first. It was somewhat odd to be touched so intimately by someone else, by a strange body. But all oddness soon became nothing against the shared pleasure. It felt so damn good. With each stroke they became more sure. Levi choosed the pace; he wanted slow and hard. Eren complied, following the man's hands and returning the same amount of force he was given.

Little by little, it drove him mad. Heat accumulated on his lower belly, focus was only on the man below him, tension was becoming more powerful. Each stroke took him higher and higher. Eren was barely aware that their hips were rocking against each other, that their breaths were mixing with their pating. Fuck, it wasn't enough. He coaxed their hands to go faster. A louder moan came out of Levi's agape mouth at the sudden change. A louder moan came out of his own mouth when Levi complied.

They raced to the edge together. They striked frantically. It made Eren lose his mind completely. The tension built up in him, till it was impossible to bear. The unexpected high pitched gasp that came from Levi as his body tensed was the ultimate push Eren needed. All that was pent up collapsed abruptly. A carnal groan emerged from the deepness of his throat while he resisted the blow of pleasure that came at once.

The intense feeling slowly went weaker and weaker, giving him a precious moment to enjoy the last taste of it. When it was gone, his strength gave up. He leaned over the man, trying not to give him too much of his weight as to make him uncomfortable. Their joined hands let go of each other, lazily. For a moment they did nothing but pant.

Only when he regained some of his breath, Eren raised to face the aftermath. Levi laid with eyes closed and cheeks flushed, looking completely exhausted but far more relaxed than before. Down south, everything was a wet disaster. That sight put him into action. He got up enough to reach for his discarded shirt. Carefully, he wiped the man's torso, his stomach, his chest. He took care of setting his pants in the right place again. Without the same delicacy, he arranged himself. All the while, Levi stood unmoving. Eren wondered if he was actually asleep.

–Sir? –Eren whispered. There was no response. Not opening his eyes, the man simply curled up on his side. Eren swallowed hard. Alright, he could cope with that.

He managed to settle beside the man. The bed was already small with himself, but with two people was absolutely cramped. And he couldn't be more thankful for that. Levi only fit if he was pressed against him, he fit better if he was being embraced. Eren delicately nestled the man on his chest, making sure to cover him wholly with the blankets. He couldn't help it. A bittersweet smile tugged at his lips when he realised the man wasn't freezing anymore.

The frantic warning was still present in the back of his head; this could definitely cost his neck. But he had already decided to take all the risks, so to fall asleep with the man in his arms and his unconscious face to behold, was more than a blessing. It was worth it. All the consequences would have to wait until the next day.

* * *

The first thing Levi was conscious of, was the warmth. He was enveloped in a cocoon of arms and blankets. Warm, almost too hot. When he opened his eyes, the only thing he saw was a silhouette barely standing out in the darkness. His heavy lids fell on place. It was tempting to give into the slumber. And keep sleeping. And keep sleeping. And keep...

His eyes snapped open. Where was he? His foggy memory quickly gave him the answer. This was Eren's room. Eren's bed. Eren's arms. There was another horrifying fact; he had slept more than two hours in a row. Fuck no! He had to get out of there. Out of the bed. Out of the room. Out of the basement. Quick.

But just to get out of the firm embrace without waking the boy, took him quite a struggle. A necessary one, for he wasn't capable of confronting him just yet. How was that he ended up pressed against Eren's half naked body? Shit, he was half naked too. And it was fucking cold in there. Clothes, clothes, he needed to find his clothes. While gathering the discarded garments, the memories rushed to his head. The kisses. On his mouth, on his neck. Hands traveling over his body. His chest, his stomach. His crotch.

The boy was a virgin, without a doubt. But had enough imagination to do that much. And he was drunk enough to agree with Eren's doing. Hell, he was drunk enough to ask for it. Shit. He was so fucking done. What was he thinking? Obviously, he wasn't. He got himself in there, he would have to deal with it. He couldn't let this get over his head. He couldn't let this interfere with his duty, for there was no place for mistakes in a war. He couldn't put Eren at risk over this. He couldn't let this reach the wrong ears. Any pair of ears. If not–

–Sir? –Levi stopped all motion. To sit on the bed to put on his boots had finally woke the boy. Shit. He quickly resumed his task.

–I have to go –he said harshly.

–I know –Eren said in a calm voice–. It hasn't dawn yet, so you still have time –he explained. Levi decided he wouldn't ask how Eren knew it wasn't dawn yet. Without another word, he wore his other boot and stood from bed to face the boy. Maybe it was just the right time to settle some things.

–I'll say this once, so listen carefully –he asserted. Eren sat on the bed, giving him full attention–. You won't let this interfere with your duty by any chance.

–No, sir. I won't let that happen.

–You won't say a word about this to anyone, not even your friends.

–I'll keep my mouth shut.

–And you won't forget I'm still your Captain. I'll cut your neck if you give me a reason. Understand?

–Understand.

–You better do, brat –he spat, before turning around and heading to the door.

–Wait, I have a condition of my own –the boy said. The Captain stopped in his tracks–. Please, stop calling me brat –he said. The man turned to dart a death glare on him.

–Who gave you the right? This is not a negotiation –Levi whispered with a dangerously low voice.

–You have all my respect. I'm only asking this in return –he responded. Levi's hands became fists, the sudden temptation to send a blow right in the boy's face made him tremble, but he contained himself on time. At the end, he just turned his back on him, and decided to leave the basement at once–. Sir, one more thing –the boy called, far more close than he was two seconds ago. Before Levi could spit a harsh remark, he felt Eren's lips on his cheek. And as quick as they got there, they disappeared–. Good morning, Captain –the boy whispered. The man clicked his tongue and clenched his jaw. Before murdering Eren right there, he slipped through the door and rushed out of the dungeon, boiling in anger.

He hurried through the stairs and empty corridors, with the urge to put as much distance as he could. He hurried to shower, to dress, as if that way he could regain some of his lost sense. He hurried to his office, to sit on the armchair at his desk, where he felt he had more power over his reality then he really did. And so, at dawn, Captain Levi was already immersed in work, dutifully filling pages and pages of the report Erwin expected soon. He barely stopped to eat, he didn't stop to rest. He just went on and on, depriving his mind from all unnecessary thoughts.

It was late in the afternoon that his unceasing work was interrupted by a knock on his door. Before he could answer, Hanji appeared from behind with her usual grin. Levi almost breathed out in relief.

–Hi, Levi –she greeted with a cheerful tone.

–What do you want four-eyes? –Levi said, barely raising his eyes to acknowledge her.

–It's that the way to receive your fellow comrade?

–Do whatever you have to and make it quick.

–How was your journey? –she asked, conversationally. The man didn't graced the attempt with a response–. As you wish. Erwin wanted me to give you this. Oh, and he says he's waiting for your report –Hanji handed Levi a bundle of documents.

–Tell him I'll have it soon –he said, swiftly revising the new bunch of papers with a glance. A moment of silence passed, and Hanji didn't leave the room–. You're not here just to send Erwin's paperwork, are you?

–Levi, what happened last night? –asked Hanji, suddenly. Levi tensed. He left the papers aside, just to send her a glare. He averted his eyes once more after that.

–I don't know what...

–Don't play dumb, it doesn't suit you –she said firmly.

–Eren was up last night, waiting for me –he answered with a flat tone–. I made sure he returned to his room.

–Did you stay with him after that? –Hanji asked. Levi didn't reply–. You see, I saw you rushing from the basement with your clothes disarranged. In the morning –she carried on. Crap. Apparently, the corridors were not as empty as he believed. In his haste to sneak away, he failed to notice that the craziest woman in the Scouting Legion was there to see him. And she wouldn't buy any lie he could come up with.

–That's irrelevant. He's my subordinate and I'm his superior, I do what I have to.

–That's not what I asked.

–He's staying at the dungeon, he's training every day, he's doing his chores. He's even collaborating with your fucked up experiments. Eren is not neglecting his duties and I will not let him do it –he claimed. Somehow, he was quite surprised with himself at how strongly he was defending the boy. Hanji seemed to notice too.

–So, you stayed with him all night –said Hanji. It wasn't a question. Again, Levi remained in silence for a bit, his eyes never leaving the paperwork he had in front of him–. Doing what?

–None of your business –responded the man with a harsh voice. The woman remained silent for a bit.

–Do you have feelings for him? –she asked suddenly. Levi put a great effort in keeping a neutral expression and a calm voice when he spoke again.

–Like I said, none of your business –he declared. Hanji sighed.

–As a fellow comrade I must warn you, feelings can numb your judgement when the time comes. Besides, it's quite inappropriate to get involved like this with a subordinate, especially if it's Eren. Something like this can affect us all –asserted Hanji with a stern look in her eyes. The look Levi returned was just as stern–. But of course, you know that more than anyone. Now, as your friend…

–Who said we were friends?

–I'm happy for you. I never expected to see you caring that much over someone again.

–You're misunderstanding things.

–Listen, if those feelings are already there, there's nothing left you can do but to cling to them, because denying them will only kill you sooner.

–Roger. Is that all?

–No. Let me give you another advice –said Hanji, leaning over the desk, looking at Levi straight in the eyes–. He's young and reckless, but his feelings for you will be honest. Don't take them so lightly –she claimed. Suddenly, her bright mood came back in–. Now, I'm not taking more of your time. Have a nice day –she said, walking to the door while mindlessly waving her hand.

–Will you keep what you presume to yourself? –Levi asked, just before the woman could open the door. She only looked at him over her shoulder and smiled.

Once he was alone again, Levi threw the papers he just received over his desk without a care. Then, he sunk his head on his hands, while all the thoughts he put so much effort to ignore came crashing at once.

Of course personal issues could numb his fucking judgement. Of course to throw himself on a cadet's bed was the most inappropriate behavior, especially if it was with Eren Jaeger. Of course, getting off with his titan subordinate would cause the world's imminent end. For fuck's sake, he didn't have the time to handle the feelings of a boy. A brat who refused being called so.

In between the chaos of his head, the uninvited memories he so wanted to avoid danced in his mind eye. That hot mouth going down his neck, those warm hands roaming over his body. Those panting, those grunts. The pleasure spreading from inside. He wouldn't lie to himself. Deep down in his guts, he wanted it to happen again.


	3. Guilty already

**The whole fault**

Chapter 3: Guilty already

Time passed before he could actually notice. It didn't have to do with its brisk pace. Its annoying brisk pace. Rather, the days that followed one after another only left a dull taste of tedium in his mouth. There was no way of telling those days apart. So, it was as if time didn't pass by at all.

It was passing by, though. The Scouting Legion was bursting with activity. The next expedition outside the walls was close in the calendar. Hell, it was barely three days away. And if the calendar didn't show it, the atmosphere among the soldiers did. All of them, no matter the rank, were scared of outside missions. The one who said the contrary, was laying. But this mission in particular had even the veterans secretly pissing their pants. The memory of the Stohess disaster was too fresh on their minds. And so, Erwin found nothing better than throwing a motivational speech in front of the entire legion. To convince people to go die for others who didn't give a damn was his specialty, after all.

Of course, humanity's strongest soldier –bullshit– had to be present. Erwin had to show off his most precious trophy to convince the soldiers they wouldn't die right away. But he was in no mood to stand the repulsive show, to swallow the lame words of fake consolation, to watch the terror in the pathetic faces of the young cadets. So he disappeared.

The library. Blessed silence. Very few people really cared about it. Or even knew that existed. Its modest amount of books remained mostly unused. Outside the world was falling down in pieces, but those books could stay untouched for years. There was something calming about sitting among dormant knowledge. He blended with the faded covers, he became a forgotten book no one would care to open.

His eyes stopped scanning the content of a worn page when he heard the door opening. Already on guard, he listened carefully to the steps. They were hesitant, but certainly, getting closer. Was his nice hideaway blown out? Levi closed the book abruptly at the prospect. He moved to the shelf where it belonged when a voice rang behind him.

–You were not at the speech –the voice said. Fuck no.

–Isn't there anything else that you should be doing right now? –Levi asked in annoyance, not turning around.

–The Commander sent the cadets to rest.

–Lucky brats –he mumbled under his breath. He could almost hear the boy flinching at his choice of words. After an awkward silence, the intruder managed to speak again.

–I just came to ask you something.

–Do it quickly.

–How do you prepare? –asked the young one. Levi perked in exasperation. He turned to stab the boy with his stare.

–Excuse me?

–I mean, is there any way to feel prepared when the time comes? –Eren tried again.

–No, there's not.

–I see –he retorted. This time, Levi could actually see the disappointment in the boy's face.

–If you're looking for hopeful words, you should have listened to Erwin more carefully –he spat.

–Sorry, sir. I'm just scared –Eren confessed in a murmur, his eyes disheartened. At first, Levi didn't know what to do with that confession. Suck it up, would have been his immediate answer in normal circumstances. Strangely, he decided to respond instead with a simple truth.

–Everyone is.

–Are you? –asked Eren, with an intense glare. Levi turned around, back to the shelf. After a long silence, it became apparent that he wouldn't answer–. Why are you avoiding me, sir?

–I'm your direct superior, is not as if a could avoid you –he retorted, a new book in his hands.

–But you are.

–I don't have time for this. Go to your room.

–No –replied Eren, without hesitation. Levi tensed instantly. He raised his eyes brom the book.

–It's an order –he claimed coldly.

–Is it because of that night? –the boy asked. Levi tensed even more. He looked right over his shoulder to pierce the boy with a murderous look.

–What? –he asked, his voice menacing. It didn't stop Eren.

–Are you avoiding me because of that night?

–Shut the fuck up –Levi hissed between his teeth. It had the opposite effect on the boy.

–It was you who told me not to regret my decisions! I don't regret what we did! Do you? –he shouted. Before Levi knew it, the book that was in his hands flew with full force towards Eren's head. The boy managed to cover himself on time. Damn him and his good reflexes.

–You have no fucking idea!

–Then tell me!

–Can't you see it for yourself? This is wrong no matter how you look at it.

–Because we're both men?

–Because we're at war! Because I'm your captain! And you're not just any soldier! –the man howled. He never lost self control. Even when he seemed to lose his temper, he never lost his self control. Yet, he was shouting carelessly, to Eren. The sorrowful look on his face told him that the boy did understand the implication of his words–. This can't go on any longer. It's over. It shouldn't have even started –Levi sentenced in a collected, firm voice. But when Eren raised his downcasted eyes, the fierce look they bore into him made something in his guts churn in alarm.

–You didn't answer my question –he claimed in a low, dangerous tone–. Do you regret it?

Did he regret it? For fuck's sake. There was no way he could give a proper answer. His mouth tightened helplessly at the lack of words, while Eren's expression turned wilder with each passing second.

–Answer me! –Eren yelled, almost desperate.

–I don't know! –Levi yelled back. He instantly bit his tongue.

Eren stomped predatory at him. Without thinking, Levi stepped backwards. Soon, the man was cornered. Without the presence of mind to react, Levi felt two arms hooking themselves around his hips. The next moment, he was forcefully pinned against the bookshelf, his weight suspended by a firm grip, his feet hanging in the air. And Eren's mouth all over his.

Surprised and horrified, he attempted to put resistance by struggling with arms and legs. But his half hearted try was surpassed. It all served so, in between the strife, Eren could drag his hands from his bottom to his thighs, where they anchored with a solid hold. All of a sudden, the boy was nestled against his crotch. The gasp Levi emitted was trapped in Eren's hungry lips. A hot tongue filled his mouth. Eager hips rocked softly against his. Each little stroke made him more and more aware that he simply lacked the will to fight Eren back. His eyes fell shut, his hands grabbed fists of the boy's jacket in the inner fight between rejecting and embracing.

His last intent of defiance seemed to slip from his grasp as Eren slipped with him to the floor. Gradually, Eren's touch became softer, gentler. Tender. His lips were slowly taking his, giving caresses instead of impatient strokes. His embrace was loving, his lap a nestle for him to lie, his chest a warm cushion. Eren filled every one of his senses; his mouth assaulted by a vigorous tongue that left its own taste in its path, the pressure and the friccion of an earnest young body against his, the scent of a day's fatigue and fading youth going down his nose, the throaty breathing that barely contained grunts reaching his ears, the enraged glare of two forest green eyes still burning in his mind eye.

Before he knew it, his own mouth was melting under Eren's. His knees tightened around the boy's waist, his hands urged him closer. He didn't know why. He didn't know how. But they were clinging to each other as mad men, as if the other had something they desperately needed. As if holding on to life. Only three days away from facing death.

–Is it here?

–Aye, nobody comes around this shithole.

They pushed apart in an instant. The same terror married both their eyes. In between the mixture of limbs they hurried to their feet. The next moment they were flushed together in the first hidden corner they could find.

–You better be right. If we're caught I'll blame you –said the first voice.

–Calm down, will ya?

–How do you want me to calm down?

–Here, drink up –said the other soldier. The sound of bottles being uncorked was enough to tell Levi what he needed to know. Not speech Erwin could give would get rid of indiscipline.

A quick glance was all it took to tell Eren to follow him. As silently as they could, they slid down the narrow corridor between shelves. While the soldiers bickered about who could drink faster, Levi dared a careful glance towards the main hallway. Judging by the sound, the soldiers were somewhere at the opposite side of the room, lost in between the shelves, just as themselves. Still, the entrance was too far away. A race towards it would be too dangerous. There was a fair risk that the soldiers would catch a glimpse of them before they could reach the door. Something they had to avoid at any cost. But, if the drinking soldiers had something else to worry about for five extra seconds, they could make a run and escape just fine. More or less.

Eren must have seen the same he did.

–I'll make a distraction –he whispered right into his ear. Before the man could stop him from doing anything stupid, the boy was lost from sight. Seconds later, the unsettling ruttle of several books falling and the swearing soldiers told him he had to run. He dashed through the main corridor, reaching the door and exiting the library at once.

Not a moment later, a hand was grabbing his, pulling him down the hallway. They run, and run, and kept running, turning at corners, crossing empty passages, afraid they could be followed. But having roamed an quite elusive path, as if to lose prosecutors, it became apparent that no one was behind their steps.

They came to a halt when they made it to a courtyard. The cold breeze of the late afternoon was refreshing to their agitated breathing. They stopped for a minute, but still, Levi couldn't calm his. A firm, penetrating gaze was fixed on him.

The faint light of the remaining day that shone upon Eren's face, was enough to read his expression as plainly as if under the strongest rays. His eyes, obscured, more black than green, broke into his with a message all too clear. He silently showed his intentions and, just as silently, asked what were his. And Levi wondered. He wondered if he was still in time to stop whatever that was going to happen. He wondered if it would make any difference. But he couldn't lie to himself. He was guilty already. If all his determination in ending whatever was happening with them could crumble the second Eren started snogging him, he was absolutely fucked up. And if he was to be guilty, at least he wanted the whole fault and not just a miserable part of it.

Not letting go of Eren's eyes, the man closed the distance and stepped barely breaths away from him. He let his eyes speak for him. Then, without a word, he walked off, disappearing in the shadows of another corridor. A surge of satisfaction arose in Levi when he listened to the steps following him.

He led the way with a resolute pace and destination set in his mind. Unable to avoid them, he strolled in front of veterans and cadets, keeping his collected demeanor, nodding regards when due. But when the path took the unmistakable turn for the basement, Levi felt his steps suddenly getting hastier, Eren's presence becoming more of a pressing matter.

They couldn't help but rush down the stairs.

He pushed through the door, Eren entering right before him. Suddenly, hands were all over him as a mouth devoured him. He barely had enough focus to push the door closed and blindly pass the latch, submerging them in absolute darkness. Gently, yet desperately, he was nudged across the room, lips still engaged in battle. His jacket slid from his shoulders to the floor, he pushed Eren's out of the way too. Amid the gloom, he knew of the bed only by touch. Guided by the pressing chest against his, he tumbled over the mattress. Eren joined him soon, his weight scattered atop. His cravat was removed, his straps loosened. A burning mouth went down along his neck, wet kisses were left on his throat as his shirt was undone. A moan left him when furious kissing hurt the tender flesh at the base of his neck. The greedy mouth nibbled at his collarbones, roamed over the hardened skin on his chest and went down over his stomach. Gushes of air rushed through his ajar lips and his body shivered in delight when his navel was lapped over and over again.

The mouth left him only enough so his boots could be pulled off. Eren came back at him with a bare chest and eager hips. Mindlessly, Levi splayed his legs, to rejoice in the addictive friction. But as they fought the final battle against the belts, not stopping the rocking of their hips, it became apparent that the contact was not as satisfying anymore. Once the straps were finally out of the way, Levi undid with his shaking hands the button of his own pants. At the sound, Eren pulled the garment through his thighs, his knees, his calves, his ankles, until they were out, and with them, everything that was underneath. Levi laid there with anything but his shirt, that little did to cover him. Even in the darkness, the fact was unnerving. He swallowed hard. Maybe he was scared after all.

His legs, already spread, were raised, carefully, by warm hands. Soon, the tips of moisten fingers were probing his entrance. Levi gasped loudly, desperately. How was that this boy knew of such a thing? When the first finger penetrated him, he decided he didn't want to know. It was slightly uncomfortable, foreign, but as the finger started to move, slowly, it became less and less strange. Until it was somehow pleasant. The second finger came in, and after the first stretch, it was accepted with no much resistance. The stupid thought that maybe his body have been waiting this for years crossed his mind. A third finger and all thought was shut for a long moment. When something entirely different reached for his entrance, he almost couldn't breathe. Eren pushed forwards.

A moan escaped his throat when he felt a sharp assault of pain. Eren stirred in panic. But he held onto Eren's shoulders, squeezing him with his hands, ordering him not to stop. The boy kept pushing, conquering uncharted territory inch by inch, while Levi held every noise that threatened to escape his throat. Then, it happened. Suddenly, his body was filled with Eren. It was painful. But also terribly pleasant.

Eren leaned so their foreheads could touch while they took some time to recover. Fuck. There was no possible way to recover from the violent sensation that was already wreaking havoc on his very guts. In his very insides. "Are you alright?" He could almost hear the silent question coming from Eren's lips. No, he wasn't alright, but neither was Eren. Just as his whole body spamed, he could feel the boy trembling in tune over him.

He embraced the boy with his legs, telling him it was time. Eren's hips started to move, slow and hesitant. The brutal fluent of sensations that mere motion caused him, was enough to erase any doubt that could have been left in him. Once the feeling stopped being weird, only satisfaction was left behind. With no more resistance to oppose, he let Eren set the rhythm, abandoning himself to his union with the boy's scalding body.

A voice started to chant. Timidly at first. Then, louder and louder, until it was in tune with Eren's rocking. Only then, he realized it was his own voice, coming from his throat with increasing abandon. Eren sped up. He couldn't help it. His whimpering voice turned into rhythmic moaning. The way Eren hit inside of him drove him crazy. The way his breath came in groans made him shiver. The heat their connected bodies expelled intoxicated him. He wanted more of it. More. More. More. His own hips started to rock along with his. They were riding together, thrusting at the same time. And as he was losing his mind to the sheer rapture, Eren was losing his insecurity with each stroke.

Nothing more existed. Nothing aside from the wonderful sensation between his legs and the presence that caused it. But it wasn't enough. Fuck, it wasn't enough.

Blindly, he pulled the boy closer. Their chest encountered, in between their stomachs was trapped his painful hardness. With his lips he looked for Eren's mouth. He didn't say a word. He refused to say a word. Instead, he gave him a chaotic kiss, lips, tongue and teeth clashing in disorder. Somehow, Eren understood. Separating from him only enough to move, the boy held his hips. In one swift movement, it was transferred from the mattress to the boy's lap.

Levi felt something odd. Eren reached a part in him that sent a powerful wave through his body. It made him scream, in a way he didn't knew he could. His insides clenched and Eren grunted, in a way he had never heard before. What was this? The rocking suddenly became hard and fast and all question was forgotten under the pressure of that hot body burying into his.

More, more, more. Each thrust left him wanting. As soon as he was given, the need was more intense. And the only thing he needed at the moment was Eren. The agony was delicious. He was at the edge of the cliff, begging for the right push to send him in a blissful fall. He wrapped himself onto Eren, because it was the only thing he could do. All of a sudden, it happened.

Eren let out a low, agonic moan and Levi felt something warm filling his interior. It was the push he was craving for. Everything crumbled in a single blow. Pleasure possessed his entire being in wild waves. He couldn't help it, he cried out, his body arching in itself as he released.

The waves subsided little by little, taking his remaining strength with them. And all he could do next, was to pant, feeling as his whole body was taken over by pleasant numbness.

After moments that felt as little eternities, Eren left him empty. A clothe was rubbed over his abdomen in tender caresses. Barely registering the action, Levi thanked in silence the gesture. Soon, blankets were tugged over him, strong arms enveloping him in a warm cocoon he already knew. Before he could fall asleep completely, a soft, deep voice whispered in his ear.

–Please, don't do this with anyone else –murmured Eren, breath still ragged by the exertion.

–Who gave you the right to ask that? –slurred Levi, already on the way down to slumber.

–Please –begged the boy. And although he didn't honor the request with an answer, he already knew the boy didn't need to request it at all.

Levi finally lost his consciousness with a single thought repeating itself over and over in his head. Fifteen. Fifteen. Fifteen.


	4. Either you serve or you die

**The whole fault**

Chapter 4: Either you serve or you die

This was his second expedition. He already had gone through this. He knew how it worked. Fortunately, there was no Female Titan this time. And in theory, he was in a better shape to face what would come. Experience had to mean something, right? So why was everything going so fucking wrong? In a matter of seconds, a third of their group was missing, practically killed on sight. There were so many of them, coming from nowhere, each more vicious than the other. And he wasn't fast enough to react. No one was. No matter how many times it happened in front of his eyes, he was powerless to change circumstances. The Captain was right. He had always been right. There was no way to foresee the result. There was no way of feeling prepared. For nothing could truly prepare him.

But there was no time to mourn the tragedy. In the lapse of a few hours new strategies had to be planned, the wounded had to be treated, the dead had to be piled. The next day they would have to come outside again, having absolutely no guarantee that the strategies would work, or that the wounded wouldn't multiply, or that the dead wouldn't outnumber the living.

The ration of food he was given dangled from his hands. He was in no condition to swallow food. He was disgusted. They were imprinted in his mindeye. He didn't know who they were, he didn't know all of their names. But he did know that before being soldiers they were persons, with a past, with a present, but nevermore with a future. Suddenly, they were flesh and bone ripped apart. In the best cases, they would become memories. Foggy memories he would confuse among the many faces that pursued him at night. "Honor them by remembering them" was what everyone said. But in moments like this, everything seemed to lose all sense, even remembering.

Maybe he wasn't necessary at all.

–If you don't eat I'll shove it down your throat –the Captain claimed, sitting in front of him.

–Don't –he responded in a monotonous voice, not even raising his eyes.

–Stop wasting your energy dwelling on what's done. You have better things to do

–said the man, dismissing. Eren couldn't stop the words that came next.

–Bullshit.

–Are you talking back to me? –asked the man slowly, menacingly.

–This is all bullshit. I don't even know why I'm alive right now.

–Listen carefully. You may be useful in this world, and it's my duty to keep you alive –stated the man. "Or kill you if you're not" was the unsaid part that hung in the air.

–They were useful in this world too. I'm not better than them.

–No –was the cutting answer. Eren flinched–. Not if you can't pull your shit together and do something.

–I'm powerless to change anything. So are you –he remarked. The man said no word–. You couldn't even save your own squad –Eren finished. There was an ominous silence. When the man spoke again, it was with the coldest, most eerie voice he remembered listening from the Captain.

–That's how war is. Either you serve or you die –the man declared. Only then, Eren raised his eyes, boring them into Levi's glacial ones.

–What if I don't serve?

The next instant, Eren was on the floor. A boot was connecting over and over against his stomach. Pain was exploding from every fiber of his body. He tried to scream, but there was no air left in his crushed lungs to even whimper. Warm liquid rushed to his throat, red blotched the floor under his mouth.

–You're not allowed to die yet –growled a voice in his ear.

He was left in the ground, bent in two, midriff broken, mind turning blurry. Before passing out, he could faintly hear the Captain's voice speaking to someone who wasn't him.

–Hey you, call Hanji. Tell her Eren needs a look. Be quick –he barked.

* * *

–I see you're eating alone –sounded Hanji's voice, when she found him at night, sitting in the head of an empty table, and with a single candle to illuminate.

–Did you come to deliver paperwork? –asked Levi with sarcasm and a cold tone, while setting aside his cup of tea. He felt the flavour suddenly get sour.

–No, I came to talk to you –she answered, then took a seat in one of the chairs at the table–. Eren is fine.

–I didn't ask.

–But you wanted to know, right? –the woman said, and when he sent her a glare, she didn't even flinch–. Quite the beating you gave him, but his healing power is a wonder. He will be in march by tomorrow, probably.

–He is not completely hopeless then.

–No, he is not –she said with half a grin. Then, she sombered right away–. Tell me, what happened?

–Nothing you need to know –he said, and took another sip of his tea.

–Oh, Levi, don't be that stubborn. I won't leave until you tell me –Hanji said, being herself a model of stubborness.

–We had a fight.

–You surely had –Hanji said, before being silenced by an annoyed look.

–He was acting like a defeated wimp, talking back to me, threatening me to die –he explained, with his eyes lost in an unknown place and his hand bringing to his lips the cup once more–. Rubbing in my face my own failures.

–Oh. He really has guts.

–Or just a death wish –he said under his breath.

–Why did it bother you that much? –she asked him, and he put down the tea with more force than necessary.

–He is not allowed to give up yet. He is not allowed to fail! –he growled. She sighed.

–Is that because of the war? Or is it because you care?

–Shut up, stupid glasses.

–What do you plan to do now?

–Keep up with his training if we manage to get back. He couldn't even react when I attacked him –he explained, as if it was the most obvious thing. Hanji sighed.

–No one can react on time when you get angry –she said–. This has to be fixed, at least try to understand his position.

–Which is?

–You have seen many tragedies along the years, and you have endured them. But he's fifteen years old, and he has the weight of the world on his shoulders already. Not even you've had to bear with that much pressure.

–What do you suggest then? He has to grow up soon –he retorted sharply.

–And you think that kicking him will make him grow up sooner? –she asked. Levi remained silent–. You're afraid of seeing him fail, I get that. Bit if you want to do something about it, let him know you believe in him.

–Believe in him? That will not make any difference –he said harshly.

–Remember what I told you? He has honest feelings for you, he looks up to you the most. So, if it's you the one who believes in him, it could make a difference. Doesn't it deserve a try?

–You don't understand a thing.

–Maybe I don't, but it's you the one who has to figure out what is this –said Hanji, standing up from her seat–. Goodnight, Levi –she walked away from the room, leaving him alone again.

He stayed there, his eyes seeing how the shadows of things trembled with the candle light, his mind deep in thoughts. He knew it all too well. It didn't matter if he trusted his comrades, the outcome was always going to be a mystery. Experience gave him that lesson, and he had learned it the hard way. Since that day, he had never questioned its validity. It was the way he lived his very existence, the way he thought that reality worked. An ultimate truth. It seemed it didn't apply to Eren.

Hanji's words were a cacophony in his head. Yes, he was afraid of Eren failing, of Eren giving up on fighting, on living. The death look he had in his eyes, the sorrowful words he said that came right out of his mind, had made his stomach churn in fear, one he hadn't felt in years. The fear of losing something precious. And the truth was, that he hadn't known how to react to that. Violence had been his only solution. Apparently, not a solution at all. And something deep in his guts told him his fear wasn't just because Eren was his special subordinate with extraordinary abilities. That scared him the most.

Crap. Things were not supposed to be like this, but they never were with Eren.

Eren needed someone to believe in him. He had to be that someone. Because it seemed he had a power over Eren no one had. Would that give him the strength to bear the world on his shoulders? Maybe he had to do what he had never done and revise his line of thought. "I'll trust in you, whatever the outcome is". It went against what life had taught him, but maybe, it was a necessary change he had to make. For Eren's sake.

* * *

Shouted orders could be heard anywhere, soldiers were fighting at the limit of their force, enemies kept appearing, and his fear was coming true right in front of his eyes; Eren was failing miserably. The youngster was kneeling in the ground, watching helplessly his bleeding hands. For some reason, he wasn't able to transform.

–Captain Levi, there are two more titans on this side! We are being surrounded!

–Captain, give your orders!

–Stay on post, defend your position! No titan has to get to Eren! –he ordered.

–But, Captain…

–Do what I said or I'll slice you all! –Levi shouted back. It kept the soldiers from protesting any longer.

–Levi! –called Hanji, landing near the fallen rock he was stepping in. The Captain quickly understood what she was trying to say. Judging by the smoke signals, another group of titans was approaching fast, and everyone was already busy saving their own asses.

This outside mission was far from what was planned. Because of a sudden change of weather, their group got separated from the rest. With the rain, a landslide happened right before their noses and before they could react on time, many of them fell in the resulting gully. They had managed to survive the fall, mostly. And there were several wounded. A group of titans smelled their disgrace. In a matter of minutes they were surrounded. And the only one who could do something effective against the giants, couldn't bring himself to transform into one. Definitely, this wasn't his day.

–You take the ones of the right. Leave the rest to me –he said, and crossed the space with his maneuver gear. The cold rain that still fell in a downpour felt like needles in his bare skin, making him unable to feel his face nor his hands. That wouldn't hold him back though.

Levi was known for being a cold killer; he aimed, he stricked, rolled gracefully in the air in the way only he did, and left to attack the next one. But for some reason, this time was different. He aimed quicker, he struck a little more forcefully, and when he left, he could feel his heartbeat harder than usual. He was vibrating with adrenaline, or maybe, it was just the dreadful feeling of impotence that burned within his guts. The titans didn't have a chance against his uncontained frustration; one by one they fell under his blades, and soon, there were none that were close enough.

A shot was heard. A black smoke signal flew in the proximity; an anomalous titan was coming their way. With how things were at the moment, the situation would become untenable. Fuck no. Levi wouldn't wait to see shit happen, time to take matters in his own hands. He found the boy right where he left him, sitting powerless in the ground with his two childhood friends surrounding him.

–Hey, you two! Go help the others –he ordered. The black haired girl started to complain.

–But Eren is...

–I said go! Now! –Levi yelled and, after earning a furious glare from the girl, the two kids went with their comrades–. Hey you, looking at them won't do anything. An anomalous is coming, they need you –he spat to the boy with a harsh tone, giving him a glance from his standing position. Eren raised his eyes. A look of absolute dread marred them.

–I'm useless. I can't change anything! –he said, and Levi would have planted a foot in his face right then and there if the circumstances wouldn't have been critical.

–You will.

–How? –asked the boy, looking at him with desperation in his eyes. The same he felt crepting in the deepness of his guts. He kneeled in front of Eren, their eyes even, connected in a two way road. And he let the words come from his mouth. From his chest.

–Listen to me, Jaeger. I believe in you –asserted Levi. Seconds passed. Eren took a moment to absorb his words, as if he could have misheard.

–What about the outcome?

–I don't care about the outcome. Present is now, and now I believe in you. Do something about it –he demanded, he begged, drilling Eren with a fierce look of his own. He stood and flew away, a thought, a wish, repeating itself of his mind. "Please boy, give me something to believe in".

Levi reunited with Hanji once again at the top of the gully. With everyone else busy, only they were left to face the anomalous. And by the loud steps, it was enormous and soon to arrive.

–Will Eren make it? –asked the woman, almost casually.

–I don't know –he answered.

As response, both of them readied their blades and waited for the titan to come. Here it came. Here it came! Levi was about to jump.

A blinding luminescence like lightning crossed the place. A strong blow of air followed. He didn't need to see behind his back to know what happened. When a loud roar was heard, he knew his words had worked. His heart skipped a beat. The man looked behind him just in time to see the mighty creature charging at them. No, not at them, but at the hideous giant that appeared behind the trees. He quickly got out of the way, only to see how Eren, in his titan body, sent a powerful blow to the monster.

All he could do, was to watch the fight between the two maighty creatures, making sure of maintaining his distance. Growls, massive punches, bites. In the heat of the confrontation, the giants got out of sight, the dense wood hiding the accion, and not safe enough for them to go look. For several minutes, they could only hear the uproar, unable to guess what was happening.

A loud crush made the ground tremble, an inhumane scream of agony filled the air. There was a winner. More steps were heard, and the remaining titan came out of the woods. As Levi could see, it was clearly wounded, the fight had cost him a good part of its integrity, but was standing nonetheless. Of all the people present, the creature fixed his eyes on him, for mere seconds. Then, it turned around, and started advancing with quick pase. Levi knew what had to be done.

–Everyone, take the wounded and follow Eren! We'll get out of here! –he shouted to the rest, and jumped in the air to reach the running titan.

The creature was on rampage, clearing their way of enemies, destructing in the act the ones that represented the bigger threat. Levi was suddenly right behind him, killing with his hands the ones that the titan left aside. Somehow he couldn't explain to himself, there was a silent understanding. The giant knew what to do. Even though he was transformed into an unstoppable mass of fury, it seemed that he was perfectly aware of his presence, plenty aware that he was right beside him, doing his own to get rid of the monsters that surrounded them. The giant creature would immobilize a monster waiting for Levi to give the mortal blow. The man would weaken an opponent and then jump for the next, trusting that Eren would end it. The space between titan and Captain became smaller after each monster killed.

They were followed. Levi knew that behind them, the rest of the division would take down the titans that were out of his reach. He let himself to believe. To trust. And it didn't matter the damned outcome. Not at the moment. Anything could happen. But it would happen later.

They advanced. For how long? Levi's was too worried about the task at hand to count the time.

–Levi, we can't hold much longer. We've lost too many! –Hanji said somewhere behind him. He knew it all too well, they were at the limit of their force even before starting this race. He examined the scenario ahead of them. Maybe someone above was giving them a break. The imminent danger consisted of five more titans, only five more titans to kill. He sent a glance towards Eren. While his most recent wounds were healing, his eyes were set in the creatures getting near. He would use the last bit of energy to fight. The Captain took out his last pair of blades.

–Regroup, stay in the higher trees. We'll take care of this –he said, and didn't wait to hear the woman's response. He simply jumped on Eren's shoulder, and the creature resumed his pace, as if he was waiting for him to follow.

One; a single cut in the ankle and the fist one was finished by Eren. Two; with a quick twist of the head, Eren made the second fall right away. Three; his blades buried themselves in the nape, the third was done before seeing it coming. Four; Eren sent the little one flying in a unrecognizable bunch of flesh, with a kick he would have been proud of. Five; Eren immobilized the creature, waiting for the man to fall over it in a twister of blades. But Eren's shoulder was ripped apart before the man could finish the task. The fifth was killed. But Levi had no more weapons left. And Eren was wounded, his arm hanging useless.

A roar echoed, the air shook. It wasn't over yet. At the end, just before the woods gave in into a clear, there was a twenty meter class, approaching with heavy steps. Eren let out a challenging roar, but when he saw him he knew it was mostly out of bravery; he was seriously injured, steam came out in scrolls. He wasn't in the best of conditions for a fight of that magnitude, but they didn't have more options. Before Levi was fully aware of what Eren intended, the contender replied in kind, accelerating its pacing. The titan stood the best he could and started running towards the beast.

–Eren! –Levi found himself shouting. What was he thinking? Openly rushing to face an enemy bigger than him without a strategy? Clearly, he wasn't thinking at all. At that moment, the only thing that crossed his mind was to rush behind the boy and face an enemy several times his own size to prevent him from getting killed. But he couldn't do much, not really. The man profusely coursed when he saw his blades. His resources were quite limited at the time. He only had one shot before his blades would break off completely. He only could stay standing near, closely following the fight, looking for the moment in which he had to give the last blow he would be able to give.

The twenty meter titan was a specially vicious one, and Eren was getting weaker by the second. His movements were slow, heavy, he could barely put some resistance, he was brutally getting beaten. At last, the beast grabbed Eren by the neck, choking him. In response, he shot his good arm towards its face. There was a contest of force. But even displaying all his potential, it was clear he wouldn't win on his own. His condition didn't allow it. Eren was hanging in the air. The open mouth full of teeth of the opponent was getting too close to his throat. He wouldn't last much longer.

Levi saw it before doing it, his body acted for him. He lunged, landed on Eren's shoulder, and ran as fast as he could, using his stretched arm as his runway to get the momentum he needed. At the last moment, he lunged again. He rolled in the air, and his blades ended in the nape of the thirty meter class. The cut was only superficially, the impact was too much for the blades. They shattered in pieces. But it was enough to weaken the giant. Levi got out of his position just in time. Eren raised and buried his teeth in the titans nape, just where the man had made the first wound. With a single bite, he tore apart the flesh. Seconds later, the giant fell on the ground.

The fight was over. And no more titans could be seen nearby. But that did nothing to deter Eren. He roared upwards, a roar fueled by raging fury. With his teeth, he started to shred what was left from the twenty meter class in a nasty spectacle, blood splattering all over the place.

Shit! Eren was giving into the rage. He knew very well what he needed to do. He had to go and cut the boy out, and if things got out of hand, he simply had to kill him. He couldn't doubt, he couldn't hesitate. But the loud beating inside him and his forced breathing told him otherwise. Levi held the last piece of blade that still lingered in the equipment.

–EREN JAEGER! –Captain Levi howled with all his might.

Incredibly enough, the titan stopped in his tracks. It was the moment. He activated his gear and landed in the nape of the giant, right where the boy should have been.

–Eren, hear me out! You know what I have to do! Don't force me! –he shouted, his body trembling wholly. The creature didn't move, nor showed any reaction. Levi felt his anger turn into desperation. He stomped a foot on the nape–. Are you fucking listening to me!? Don't make me do this, you asshole!

Moments passed. Levi held his breath.

The titan moved under his feet. A giant hand appeared in his field of view. The man didn't have a blade to rip off that hand. No more words of encouragement. Now he really had to trust Eren. To believe that the boy was a human before a titan. He closed his eyes, and ignored all the instincts that told him to attack. The big fingers enveloped him, the hand lifted him. The world spun around him. And eternal moments passed.

Levi opened his eyes. Two green, gigantic eyes were fixed on him. He started to breath again. Through his life as a soldier, he had seen many titans at the eyes before killing them, but it was always the same. Those empty orbs sent mindless stares. But the eyes of the creature in front of him sparkled with conscience, like a human's. They fell in a sort of trance, in which the only thing they acknowledged was each other; Levi knew that he was recognized by the titan, by Eren who was inside of that monstrous body. And, somehow, he could recognize the boy as well in the big green eyes that returned his gaze. There was no mistake. At that moment, he knew no harm would come to him from that beast. The beast that held him carefully in his powerful hand. What possessed him then was a mystery. For some reason, he felt the urge to raise his hand. Slowly, the titan responded. He got closer.

His outstretched hand came in contact with the tip of his massive nose. Seconds passed, and Levi couldn't feel anything else than the scalding skin against his. A scalding skin disturbingly familiar.

Before he could know what was happening, the atmosphere was broken. The creature stirred, agitated by a sudden threat. He barely registered the scandal below. Scared soldiers were preparing themselves to save him from the titan.

–Do not attack! It's an order! –he yelled, and everyone stopped their actions. With the troopers not doing any distraction, he directed his eyes at the titan again and said simple words with a calm voice–. It's alright, Eren.

He saw the moment everything fell back on place in the titans eyes. He let one of his knees fall on ground, and then, very slowly, he lowered his hand. The fingers engrossing him opened, allowing him to slide from his outstretched hand. He landed on his feet. Only then, the great beast stood, turned around and simply walked away. No one understood exactly what was happening, but with a silent order of his hand, the Captain made everyone stay still. When the titan was already at a safe distance, he simply let himself fall limp on the grass with a noisy crash. Right then, the giant body started to dissolve.

Levi ran towards the titan, ignoring the warnings of his subordinates. As he was approaching, he got sight of a figure at the top of the grand neck. He was there in the blink of an eye. Using the poor remaining of his blades, he cut through the thick flesh, struggling to pull Eren out. But when he did, the youngster wasn't moving.

–Eren. Eren! Come on! –called Levi, perceiving no reaction at all.

Quickly, scared, he pressed his ear against the boy's chest. There was a heartbeat, but no breathing at all. Fuck no. He raised the boy against his own body, and found his midriff with a fist. He buried it there with all his strength. Once, twice. Eren started coughing. A stream of blood flowed down his mouth. Finally, he started to pant with shaking breaths. Levi received him back in his arms. He searched for the boy's eyes. His heart skipped another bit when he found them.

–You did well, Eren –he whispered, hoping he could be listened to.

–You didn't... call me brat –he answered, a weak voice coming out of his mouth, a serious expression coming out of his half opened eyes.

–You asked me not to –Levi answered, and Eren's lips stretched in the tiniest of smiles.

–Did I... hurt you?

–As if you could.

–I'm glad.

–Don't be so glad yet, we still have to come back in one piece.


	5. Doomed

**The whole fault**

Chapter 5: Doomed

–There's nothing left to do but let him rest as much as he can –said Hanji while putting a wet cloth in the boy's forehead–. Hopefully, the medicine I gave him will help with the fever, and he has no serious injuries. He should be fine, I think.

–You think?

–Well, you never know with Eren –she answered. Levi clicked his tongue in disapproval. It bothered him, but it was true–. Now, pray tell me, what happened out there? –the woman asked out of the blue, her gaze fixed on him with a death, serious glare. Levi knew the woman would corner him with questions sooner or later.

–You saw everything.

–Yes, but I would love to hear your point of view –she insisted, crossing arms and legs, showing she wouldn't move until she had some answer. Levi stood silent. His lack of reaction made Hanji agitated–. Do you understand it? You pacified him by only calling his name! He let you touch him!

–Shut up, you'll wake him up –Levi said with a harsh tone, but with his voice no more than a whisper. The woman fell silent for a moment, her composure regained.

–If my assumptions are correct, whatever that is happening between you two has a great effect on Eren. On you too, it seems. It can't be overseen –she stated, her voice hushed and severe. Levi sighed heavily.

–I don't know what happened, or how I did it. Somehow, we knew what to do. We did all the killing together because it was what we had to do. And when he lost control... I didn't want to hurt him –he explained, all of Hanji's attention on him–. I knew he wouldn't hurt me.

–How?

–I saw Eren in there, he wasn't a mindless monster –he answered. The woman stood in silence for a moment, as if digesting the information.

–Just out of curiosity, what did you tell him to make him transform?

–That I believed in him –he said, shortly, and a little knowing smile appeared in her lips.

–I can understand why you tried to escape from this, but you can't anymore –she said, and placed a hand in the man's shoulder, as if in a comforting manner. Then, her features turned grave–. You see, it may be your weakness, but apparently, it can become his strength –she said solemnly, and a heavy silence fell after. She stood from her seat and walked to the cell's door–. I leave him to you. You will take care of him, right? –she asked, and without expecting an answer, she exited the room.

The loud echo of the shutting door lingered in the reduced space of the underground chamber. Levi cursed. That damned four-eyes.

–Lev' –slurred a voice. The man stirred. Eren. He was shifting restlessly under the blankets. Did he hear right? The boy never forgot the title–. Levi –he murmured. The man moved to sit in the bed.

–I'm here –he said, softly placing a hand on Eren's cheek, not quite knowing where this gentleness came from.

A hand darted to his wrist.

–Eren? –Levi asked. The grip became a hard jerk. He was pulled forward. He lost his balance and fell face first against Eren. A pair of arms enveloped him in a tight grip. And then, Eren lunged himself at him, pinning his form against the mattress with his nude torso. It was happening again.

Eren looked at him from above through lidded eyes. Predatory eyes. Only half conscious eyes. Levi felt as if he was about to get eaten. And he feared. But he stood in place. Somehow, he wanted to believe he wasn't in danger. Because Eren knew it was him. The boy descended at him, mouth ajar, ready to swallow him wholly. Levi braced himself.

Lips engulfed his. No bite. Only a caress. A passionate caress. Eren's mouth melted against his, and his eyes found it hard to stay open. Instead of being eaten, he was given loving licks as two hot hands found their way under his shirt, under his back, and he found it impossible to oppose. Soon, an insistent tongue asked for entrance. It slid easily through his half opened lips, it filled him completely. And Levi could have fought back, he could have bit that intruding tongue once more. But this wasn't the same as then. He wasn't the same man either. The kisses tasted different, the embrace, the heat, the pressure, it was all unlike then. This time, they were familiar, welcomed.

And Eren was desperate, just like him.

As the mouth traveled down his neck, wet kisses were left over his pulse, over his apple. Those lips found that place where they had first left a love bite. They sucked and licked until a new mark was made. Was it going to happen? A second time?

Eren tugged eagerly at his pants until his legs were free of the garment. The boy sneaked in between his thigh, and Levi's breath became heavy when he felt Eren's arousal pressed against his. He knew what was coming next. Yes, it would happen, a second time. And strange enough, he didn't want to stop it.

He felt Eden's fingers pressing delicately against his passage. When the first one entered him, his heavy breath became a row of sighs. Eren added a second finger, and the row of sighs became moans. He trembled. The third finger came, and he spread his legs a little wider for a better contact, allowing the hand caress him deeper. But it didn't last long, for the boy soon took away his fingers to position his hardness on his entrance. Levi contained his breath as he waited for the intrusion. There was the pain, the familiar pain. Eren pressed further and further until they were deeply connected.

The breath he was holding came loose in the form of a moan. Eren was deep inside, filling him wholly. And his body seemed to accept him gladly. Truly, he had been wanting this to happen again.

Eren moved. It started slow and gentle. Little by little, pain gave into pleasure. The low groans the boy emitted fell right into his ear, going straight into his insides and making them twitch in delight. Eren's assaults became harder then, their voices blended in a dissonant harmony. Abandoned to the sensations rushing through his body, Levi started to rock his hips along Eren's. The pressure where their bodies met intensified. But it wasn't enough. Fuck no, it couldn't be enough.

–Eren –he whispered into his ear.

Answering his demand, the boy grabbed his thighs, changed the angle. And reached that part in him that made him come undone. The pace became desperate, the assaults harder. His mind was deprived of any thought aside from the growing need of gratification. Levi moaned, arching his back, squeezing Eren's waist with his legs. The youngster seemed to like that. He pushed there, over and over again, taking his sanity away the harder he thrusted. But the satisfaction that each provided soon turned into overwhelming want. Without knowing what else to do, he grasped himself to Eren, tightly, almost with despair, silently pleading for some sort of relief for his screaming body.

–Eren!

Two arms engulfed him in a vice grip. He was hoisted out of the bed into Eren's lap. Immediately, their union deepened. Fucking stupid Eren. He was going to die.

Eren restarted his motion; with the new proximity everything felt suddenly more penetrating. Levi heard himself cry; his most sensitive place was hit with persistence, and a sharp pleasure, more powerful than before, started to extend in his interior. It became unbearable. He wanted more but couldn't stand much more either. He wrapped himself to Eren and waited for it to come. At the last moment, his eyes got moisten, but he quickly shutted them, not to let the tears fall.

He shivered, all of his body arched by its own accord. He screamed upwards, as a powerful wave of pure pleasure spread throughout his entire being. Eren released just a moment after. Warmth filled his interior while a groan of agony came from the deepness of his throat as he held onto him, tightly, as if to fuse them together.

They clung to each other like madmen, fighting to regain breath, still feeling the poundings of fading bliss. As Levi fell in his heights, they collapsed on the bed, confused into a messy embrace.

Eren's body was ablaze. Intense heat welled from his skin in waves. Levi was sure he would be melted to the bones. He would consume in this warmth, in this feelings. In Eren's honest feelings. As his mind regained some of its clarity, he couldn't help the myriad of thoughts that invaded him when he realized what he just had done.

They did it. For the second time. While Eren was running a fever and was probably not even wholly conscious. And he wasn't regretting it yet.

How have things come to this? Eren was a mere boy. A boy that returned his glares and refused being called brat, but still needed to be believed in. A boy that had no fear to admit what he wanted because he was an idealist in the middle of war. A boy that forced him to see the world differently, to wish for things that were not allowed for him.

He wasn't supposed to want anything this boy had to offer. Yet, his body surrendered easily to what he made him feel.

Levi looked to his side, where Eren's face laid, as if to watch closely his sleeping face could give him some answer. His expression was calm, so different from his constantly intense features. Levi closed his eyes and leaned further, until soft skin met his lips. He didn't expect it, he felt the boy move in response, weakly returning the kiss. Even if he didn't have a complete hold of himself, Eren's effort to kiss him back was enough to make his chest pound harder.

And it was all the answer he needed.

He was doomed. Absolutely doomed.


	6. Three tempo rhythm

**The whole fault**

Chapter 6: Three beat rhythm

Eren felt himself losing his footing. He ungracefully fell to the ground, and all his body protested after the crash with the hard surface. Not with the strength to rise just yet, he stayed for two seconds longer in the floor, panting.

–Not good enough –said Captain Levi with a cold tone–. Do it again.

The boy didn't have other option, after gathering his discarded limbs, he stood on his feet. He almost couldn't avert the sudden attack the older man threw at him. With little time to react, he did his best no to get smashed by his powerful kicks.

After years of watching him from a close distance, Eren could say he knew the man well enough to notice when something was off with him. Part of his character was to be severe in all the matters he treated, but with the passing time, he had mellowed his persona, at least towards him. And lately, something was going on, he was bothered deeply enough to be tougher than normal at combat training.

No matter how much he tried, he just couldn't overpower the restless man and, once more, he was the one overpowered. He fell on his knees to the ground, he was defeated, once again.

–Not too bad –was what the Captain said. But for Eren "Not too bad" wasn't enough either. Without warning, he rose to his feet and charged at the man.

–Excuse me, sir –said a foreign voice. Eren tripped at the last minute. The Captain had no problem rejecting his half-hearted attack. He was sent directly to the floor.

–Speak –the Captain ordered. From his lying position, Eren saw it was just a lonely soldier, standing by the door, and looking as if he wanted to be anywhere but there.

–Commander Erwin wants to see both of you at his office.

–Of course, I don't have anything better to do –said the man sarcastically, and followed the scared soldier. When Eren didn't follow immediately, he shouted–. Come on Jaeger, don't slack off!

–Yes, sir –he said, standing and hurrying to reach them. Before they knew it, they were in front of Erwin's desk. The messenger soldier wasted no time in excusing himself and disappearing. Then, with all calm and not waiting for any invitation, the Captain threw himself in a forgotten couch at the side of the room. Soon, his eyes were on the window at the far wall of the Commander's office. Eren, instead, made the official salute, showing his respect.

–At ease, Cadet –said the blond man–. Well, first of all, how is Eren's training going? –asked Erwin.

–As planned –said Levi. When the Commander sent him a glance, asking for more explanation, the Captain averted his eyes in annoyance–. He still needs more training, but he can hold his ground –he said, and Eren couldn't help but be surprised at his positive words. Because that was the closest of a praise he usually heard.

–Good –said Erwin in an approving tone–. Now, Eren, I requested you here to inform you about the next mission.

–Yes, sir. I'll do everything in my power.

–I'll put this simply. There's going to be a ball at wall Sina –he said bluntly. It took a couple of seconds for Eren to react.

–Excuse me, sir. A ball you said?

–That's correct.

–I don't understand, people are dying on this side of the walls, and they are making a ball? –asked Eren.

–Is as stupid as it sounds –said Captain Levi. Eren directed his eyes to the man, who had his own lost in the sight of the window. So, he already knew about what was happening.

–Yes, there's a ball and we were invited as representatives of the Scouting Legion –responded the Commander–. Of course, the ball is only a social excuse. This is about the annual anniversary that celebrates the creation of the three military divisions.

–I understand –Eren asserted. After all, he was well aware that the date was commemorated with ceremonies all over the walls–. But if this is the annual celebration, I don't see why this year is any special, or why I have to go to that ball. I mean, aren't those people too afraid of me?–questioned Eren.

–Well, things have changed. The advance we had made in the war, thanks to you, had given these people the idea that they are completely safe once again. In their arrogance they want to show they're not afraid of what's outside the walls and that they're not afraid of you. Even after the events in District Stohess three years ago.

–So, we don't have another option but to go.

–That's right –Erwin answered–. It's not really an invitation. As you can guess, we are being forced. I know it might be senseless to you, but this event is important in itself. Many people will be present there, the people who decide if you can be trusted or not.

–In other words, they decide if you live or you die –interrupted Levi, standing from his spot and walking to the window he had the eyes lost in. Eren started to understand why the man's mood was darker lately.

–So, what do I have to do? –asked Eren.

–You have to show them you are a civilized person.

–As civilized as them, that is –stated Levi.

–How do I do that? –asked the boy again.

–Acting like one of them –answered Commander Erwin, holding his serious expression.

–Like a hypocrite? –asked Eren.

–Exactly –responded the Captain.

–Captain Levi –said Erwin in a scolding tone. Once again, he centred his attention on the boy–. Listen, everyone will be watching you, ready to judge if you can be called a human like them or not. So it's important that you attend the ball as any of them would, which means that you will have to look like a gentleman, respond with courtesy and dance.

–Dance? –inquired Eren, horrified.

–That's why it's called a ball –said Levi from his standing position, sending Eren a mocking glare.

–But I don't know how to dance.

–That's why Captain Levi will teach you –said Erwin. Eren kept silent for a moment, not quite believing what his ears had heard.

–I didn't know you could dance, Captain.

–I had to learn for shitty situations like this.

–We still have a month before the ball, so you have until then to prepare –continued Erwin, ignoring the little exchange between Captain and Cadet.

–Yes, sir.

–I hope you take this as seriously as any other mission.

–Yes, sir.

–Good. You can leave now –said Erwin. Eren squared and made the official salute once more. Then, he turned around and exited the room, but before he could take another step he heard Erwin's voice through the door.

–He is spending too much time with you, Levi. He is adopting your manners –said the Commander. Eren swallowed at the comment. He waited outside until the Captain joined him in the hallway.

–Jaeger, follow me –was all he said. Leading the way, they ended at Levi's office. Once the door was closed behind them, Eren watched some of the tension leave the man as he sat at the edge of his desk–. There's something Erwin is not telling you. There's a complot against you waiting at wall Sina –said the man, folding his arms over his chest.

–Complot? –he asked. He suspected there was something off–. So the ball is a trick.

–Yes. We suspect there's a certain person with influence who is uncomfortable with your existence, and is mobilizing the Military Police to ambush us in the ball. And they are thrilled for an excuse to have your head –explained the man in a bitter tone–. Erwin is planning a counterattack, but either way, you have to be prepared to act when needed –he said. Eren then understood why he was being more demanding at combat training.

–If the Commander didn't tell me, it's because he didn't want me to know. Why are you telling me then?

–Because I think you deserve to know. After all, is your life that is at stake –said the man looking straight at his eyes. Eren was speechless for a moment. The Captain, indeed, knew about the mission, about the complot, about the counterattack and Erwin's decision of keeping silence. And was going against orders because he disagreed with them. Because he was taking care of him.

–Thank you, sir.

–Don't even mention it –answered Levi, averting his gaze.

Eren felt like something had to be done. So, he advanced the few steps that separated him from the man. Carefully, he grazed his chin so he would face him. Levi raised his eyes to look at him, took off his hand with a little slap and then got up from the desk altogether. Eren noticed that, even standing straight, he was a whole head taller than him, if not more. With a hand, the man took off the hair that fell on his forehead.

–You're getting taller. Will you ever stop growing? –said the man, his voice quiet.

–But sir, you wanted me to grow up, didn't you? –answered the boy, with a playful light in his eyes.

–Shut up.

As response, Eren embraced the man's waist and slightly raised him in his arms. Levi enveloped his shoulders in exchange. The youngster leaned until the other's lips were in his mouth. He kissed the older man slowly, making sure to feel every inch of his skin, making sure to take the man's mind out of the bitterness that darkened his mood. Soon, he used his tongue to brush his warm flesh, asking for permission. A similar tongue came to his encounter. Levi sighed in the kiss, and Eren felt the remaining tension in the man's shoulders go away.

* * *

The combat training was replaced by dance training. For the most part at least. After all, they had little time to make Eren's fighting abilities be fresh for the great event, but even less time to make his clumsy self move in a three beat rhythm. Still, being an experienced maneuver gear user had its perks when it came to this. Eren had a good sense of balance, and coordinated feet, for the most part. His back had just the right inclination to make a better rotation, the position of his arms was fairly well. The only thing that didn't quite worked, was the leading.

–You're supposed to guide me, not the other way around –he said in a scolding tone.

–I'm sorry. I'll do it again –apologized the young man, stopping all motion.

–Alright, but this time don't think too much –he ordered–. If you're worried about doing it right, you'll do it wrong. Trust in what I taught you.

–Yes.

–Now, stand as I told you, straight back, squared shoulders. And don't lower your hand or someone will think you're a pervert –he said, while adjusting the boy's hand that stood too low on his back. Then, he started to count. One, two, three. One, two, three.

Who was he fooling? Eren was doing it right, more or less. His steps were somewhat rough, his posture slightly stiff, but still, Eren managed to move the right way and at the right time. And the leading, maybe it was a problem only because he wasn't letting himself be lead. In fact, the boy had dominated it faster then he thought he would. Somehow, it bothered him deeply.

It was impossible not to notice the passing of time. Only a couple of years ago, Eren was an impulsive teenager who needed constant supervision, complete guidance and strict protection. But things have been changing. The boy who didn't know what to do, who had too many unanswered questions, whose resolve wavered at times, had been transforming in front of his eyes. More recently, he was making decisions, he was finding answers for his questions, and so, he had a stronger resolve. He was becoming more capable, more independant, and even more self confident. Eren was already a whole head taller than him, had a sturdier body and hair longer than was recommended. He was a valuable soldier at the war too; his combat skills had significantly improved, his control over transformations was better than before. All in all, Eren was becoming a young adult. A young man. For good. Still, it bothered him deeply.

–Enough with this –growled Levi after a lift that was almost too perfect. He walked away from the boy's grip.

–Sir, I'm sorry. Did I do something wrong? –Eren asked nervously while following him.

–Stay there –he said without looking him back. He called for the first passing-by soldier he found–. Hey you, call Hanji, the special squad, the cadets, the veterans, everyone that can come. I want here as many people as you can get in five minutes.

–Yes, sir –answered the soldier.

–Is there something wrong? –asked the boy again.

–No, I just need an audience.

–Audience?

–I want to see how you do it in public –he explained. Eren cringed.

–Sir, why?

–I'm making you nervous.

–I noticed that much.

–Everyone will be watching, you have to know how to dance under pressure.

–I feel like an idiot.

–And you're not the only one –he retorted. He also felt somewhat humiliated turning around without direction, playing the female role, curtsying like a lady, letting himself be led –not quite. Still, he held himself with dignity. At least they would look like dignified idiots in front of the little congregation of people that gathered within minutes, and wore questioning looks on their faces–. For those who wonder, I called you because we needed public. If any of you dares to laugh, I'll slice your throat –he said, death serious–. And can someone put on the shitty music?

Without waiting for a reaction, he turned to Eren once again. He could tell the boy was slightly nervous. Good. It was time to see if his perfect dance was still as perfect with people watching.

They stood face to face. Eren bowed to him gentlemanly. He did so right after, in a ladylike fashion. The boy stepped closer; his right hands attached to his back with a secure grip, his left hand grabbed his own with a gentle pressure. Instantly, his back was straightened, and his eyes were fixed on him. They waited, until the gramophone started to roll. One, two, three. One, two, three.

Their feet moved to the melancholic tune, softly, almost hesitantly, making them twist on their place. In the corner of the eye he saw Erwin standing close to Hanji, both staring intently at them. He ignored them, he had to focus.

At a sudden change in the music, they swung more intensely, following the rise of the melody. The slowness and softness transformed into a lively pace. Eren's tense posture began to loosen with the new rhythm. Before he knew it, the boy was suddenly taking the initiative, his steps in time, his mind set. Levi didn't find anything better than to let him be.

Soon, they were totally immersed in the dance; somehow, their bodies knew what to do. They spun together, swagging in circles, like following an invisible current that took possession of their bodies.

Levi forgot about himself, while balancing here and there, fluctuating, commanded by the flirting harmony and Eren's hands that told him where to go, what to do. Everything around him spun so fast, it all became an indistinguishable blur. But it didn't matter, for Eren was the constant he needed in that spinning world not to lose his footing.

Another change in the melody, and they came back to a somewhat sweeter pace, a pace that lulled them into a more intimate embrace. But it was to fool them, when in reality it was an anticipation for the approaching finale.

The whimsical melody took them once again in its arms, demanding one final effort before it was all over, asking them to give their all. Levi noticed the grip in his hand became stronger. Eren was preparing. There was no time to hesitate. They swung quite intensely, almost violently, until Eren held him firmly from the waist and lifted him as high as his arms could reach. Levi spun in the air, his axis being Eren's eyes. His feet landed, and the music ended with a brisk sentence.

And then silence, complete silence in the room. Everything around him still spun a little. His breath was agitated and it wasn't just because of the exercise. His eyes were still fixed in Eren's, who stared back at him with wonder. Yes, he too wondered what had just happened.

They disentangled from their embrace and Eren gave a step back, so they were at an acceptable distance once again. Levi forced himself to come back to his senses. This whole show was for a reason.

Through his apparent dizziness, Eren bowed once more, to end the encounter.

Now.

Levi threw a kick to the boy's guts, but it didn't land. Eren reacted in time to dodge. He sent another attack. And another, and another one. The boy blocked them all, but were unable to counterattack.

Pulling him by the shoulder and hooking his foot, Levi made him trip. The next second, Eren he was rolling in the ground, barely avoiding the blow of his knee. Quickly, the boy flipped to a standing position, and charged at him. A frontal attack. Levi had seen him doing it many times before. He prepared to engage and knock him out, but instead, Eren reached for him and dragged him down with him.

They rolled in a fight to get control. Levi won. Pinning the boy to the ground with his weight, he aimed a final blow to the boy's face. But the boy managed to grab his fist. He trapped his arm, and with a twist of his legs, he raised his hips from under Levi, pushing out of him and exchanging their positions.

Shit. The boy was becoming good.

He used his legs, and in the blink of an eye, he had Eren's arm trapped between his thighs, the boy subdued by the choking grab. If he had wanted, he could have broken his limb.

–Alright! My loss! –he grunted.

He let him go and stood quickly, conscious of the intense stares directed at them. He offered the boy a hand to help him stand. Eren accepted it, visibly drained.

–Not bad –he said. Almost instantly, Eren's face lit up. The young man knew that was the closest of an approving remark he would get out of him. So did the others. The people present cheered up. The next second they gathered around the boy, giving him animated comments and two sided jokes. Levi took his distance, worried about dusting himself and attempting to arrange his untidy clothes. Erwin appeared at his side, sending him a glance–. He's ready –Levi said after the other's silent question. The Commander nodded once, and left without a word. Then, a second person came to his encounter.

–Do you understand this will be the main talk among the soldiers now? –asked Hanji in a quiet voice.

–I don't give a shit –he said. The woman smirked, as if knowing his response beforehand. Then she walked off, as if nothing happened.

–Everyone, you may leave now –the woman called, making the soldiers quickly dissipate. A moment later, there was just him a Eren again. Before the silence became too awkward, he spoke.

–Let's finish for today. I expect my tea at the usual hour, and I hope you are bathed by then –he said, walking away, with the imperative urge to clean himself already in his mind. Before he could get too far, the boy called him.

–Sir –he said, and gently enveloped the man from behind. The man tensed at first, but soon relaxed at the familiar embrace–. Thank you –said Eren into his ear, barely above a whisper. Then, he left a kiss in his moisted temple.

–Don't thank me yet –he responded, with a voice much softer than he intended.


	7. Stubborn man

**The whole fault**

Chapter 7: The most stubborn man

The carriage came to a stop. Eren hurried to look from the corner of the window, barely lifting the thin curtain that covered it. His eyes met the most luxurious building he had ever seen. Palace was a better word to describe it.

–Stay alert –said Commander Erwin, taking the boy's attention out of the view. Just then, a man dressed in a fine attire opened the little carriage door. They descended and were welcomed by the man with what Eren thought was false courtesy.

They crossed double gates and then were led through the interior of the building, that looked even more luxurious than the outside. Eren didn't let himself get lost with the sight though, his eyes were wide awake, looking at anything that could seem off, learning the faces he saw and the hallways they walked in. It was clear that they were being observed, he felt an unpleasant tickle in the nape of his neck.

They came to a halt. Right in front of them were heavy wooden doors, behind which the important people were already gathered for the damned ball. Eren focused on the matter at hand: act like a gentleman, speak with courtesy and dance. Oh, that fucking dance.

–Good luck, Eren –said Erwin, before going through the doors. He would go first, to prepare the audience for the titan boy's appearance. He was left alone with Captain Levi.

–Remember, don't eat or drink anything that's given to you –said the man.

–Yes, sir.

–Speak only if someone addresses you and don't stare at anyone in the eyes for too long.

–Yes, sir.

–And don't dance with the same girl more than once, or they will think you have a special interest.

–Of course.

–And remember the steps I taught you.

–I will.

–Good –said the Captain. Then, Eren felt the man's hand softly pulling back a hair that refused to go with the rest. The boy looked at Levi's features quite intendedly. He was terribly handsome, with his raven hair combed backwards, his slender figure standing out in that black tailcoat, his usual cravat adorning his neck. It was really a shame that he wouldn't get to dance with him at the ball.

–Sir, will you stay close by? –he asked.

–Of course –Levi answered, giving his shoulder a little squeeze. It was all it took to make Eren feel brave.

The doors were opened wide.

Many pairs of eyes landed on him. They didn't lie when they said he was going to be judged by an important amount of important looking people. He felt as if everything of him was being observed; his expression, his clothes, each one of his movements. Captain Levi took the lead walking with aplomb in front of him; so imposing was his presence that people parted to let him pass, surely intimidated. He followed closely, trying to look as confident as him and doubting he really could.

–Over here –said a familiar voice. Commander Erwin was talking to a little group of people–. You must have a dance with this lady –he said, presenting him a thin girl who didn't look happy at all with the prospect. A quick glance of the Captain told him that he had to accept no matter what.

–Shall we? –said Eren, offering his arm to the girl and feeling quite ridiculous at doing so. He brought the girl to where the couples gathered to dance. While receiving many direct looks from the nearby dancers, he placed his hands where he had. A tune started to sound and his feet moved on their own. It was as the Captain said, it would work as long as he let his body do the work for him.

As he swirled through the place, Eren took his opportunity to look at his surroundings. He was being watched by too many people to count. Here and there, prying eyes took glances of him while he danced in circles, leading this complete stranger. The place was a big room, well illuminated by large windows that reached the roof, with mirrors on the opposite wall and with double doors on every corner. It was unnerving, if anything wanted to come in, there was access anywhere.

He never lost sight of the Captain. Their eyes would meet more often than not. It gave him some encouragement to know the man was accompanying him from a distance.

The first dance gave place to a second. And a third. It seemed like hours passed. When he lost count of how many girls he had danced with, he decided he would choke the next person who asked him for a piece. He was doing nothing but dancing as a puppet for the noble's entertainment. Captain Levi seemed to notice his distress, for he made him a subtle sign. "Come". He rushed to his side. Carefully, the man spoke to his ear.

–Stay calm –he murmured. Eren noded after taking a mouthful of air.

The man stood close to him, surveilling the crowd with his piercing eyes. He had a glass in his hand to make a good impression, but he wasn't drinking at all. He also was doing no talking. The one who went on with the conversation was Commander Erwin; he was able to maintain people mildly entertained with easy answers and protocol comments.

It was a good thing no one seemed willing to speak directly with him. Eren didn't think he could hold himself together if he had to speak that much with those people. He was already sick of all the attention, he almost was hoping the Military Police would appear soon.

Somehow, his request became true.

Turmoil was heard. The sound of gunshots and men shouting came out of the building, making the music and the chat stop, both replaced by the alarmed murmures of the gathered people. Captain Levi was instantly on guard and Commander Erwin seemed to tense significantly. Silence followed, and aside from the scared crowd no more movement was seen in the ballroom. Not until one of the many doors that surrounded the main ball hall opened brusquely. Eren saw her. Squad Leader Hanji appeared, a little agitated, dressing a disheveled suit. She gained scandalized glares of the nearest women, but she paid them no mind. She quickly found them in the multitude and went straight to whisper something in Erwin's ear. The Commander's expression changed. Then, he turned to whisper something to the Captain. After a dry nod from the man, Erwin and Hanji went straight out from the hall. Captain Levi left his glass aside.

–The complot was stopped –he murmured in his ear–. Erwin wants to take you out of here now.

Without wasting time, they excused themself and, avoiding the restless people that sent suspicious glances at them, they exited the hall. With a quick pace, the man led him through the maze of corridors, taking a different path from the one they made at first. They came out of the building, to a big inner courtyard that connected with an open hallway. So, they were going to the back entrance.

–Captain, what's the situation? –asked Eren, closely following his Captain's steps.

–A bunch of armed men were captured by our soldiers, apparently they are from the Military Police. Still, we don't know if the danger is o–

Captain Levi stopped in mid track. Eren barely saw it coming in the corner of his eye. A man came from nowhere, and charged towards them. The Captain acted quickly. He avoided the attack, and landed a knee in the attacker's guts. The moment later Eren felt a pair of arms crushing him from behind. He used his foot to kick the man. It was enough for the boy to free himself.

–You bastard! –yelled the man. Eren kept his cool. When his opponent charged, he blocked his punches successfully and returned some more. These guys were not in good shape.

In his peripheral sight he saw that the Captain had already dealt with the first man. But from where the first came out, more appeared. Soon there were five, six, it was hard to tell. But they managed to hold their ground. Eren saw man after man falling in front of his eyes. They both had the situation under control. Or so it seemed.

He was harshly pushed to the side. A shot was heard.

Eren freezed.

With the deafening sound still echoing in his ears, the boy looked for the source. Captain Levi was on the ground, right in front of him, and a soldier was pointing an empty gun with a shaking hand.

His blood boiled, his sight turned red.

A final punch to the man that was still in his hands was enough to neutralize him. Then, the boy walked menacingly, piercing the man with a murderous look while thinking about all he could do to that shivering guy if he had a pair of blades. At the last moment, the man dropped the gun and tried to run. Before he could, Eren grabbed him by the collar and sent a blow to his temple. The man lost his balance and fell. The boy was quick to act; he kicked twice, once in the belly, once in the crotch, and the man wasn't capable of standing again. He kneeled and stamped a fist in the man's face for good measure. Soon he realised that the unfortunate man was already unconscious. Eren left him there.

He rushed to Captain Levi instead. The man was bent in the ground, panting, clutching himself as a fluent of blood came out from the left side of his abdomen. Eren felt like throwing up.

–Captain, Captain can you hear me? –asked the boy with evident despair in his voice. Carefully, he enveloped him with his arms and searched for his eyes. They were clouded, in a daze, but the man returned his gaze nonetheless, defying the pain that tried to shut him down–. You'll be fine, but please stay awake –Eren said and then raised Levi from the floor. The man grunted.

He followed the hallway he had in front. The boy kept whispering nonsense to the man while keeping the quickest pace he could. His mind ran along his feet. He had to keep the Captain awake, he had to move quickly. He had to find the Commander, surely Squad Leader Hanji would be with him. She could take care of Captain Levi, she could at least stop the bleeding. He had to find her, he had to find her. He had to find her.

He found her.

–Help! Help please!–he shouted with all the force of his lungs. A wave of relief overcame him when he saw them; Commander Erwin, Squad Leader Hanji, and fellow comrades.

–Eren! –Hanji called. He kneeled in the ground, with the man firm in his arms.

–We heard a shot, what happened? –asked Erwin, while Hanji kneeled in front of him, taking in Levi's coated clothes.

–A group of men attacked us on our way here. They were waiting for us. The Captain was shot –said Eren, out breath.

–We need to take him out of here now –said Hanji.

–Bring the carriage! –ordered Commander Erwin.

–Hold him, Eren –said the Squad Leader. She took a handkerchief, and after turning it into a bunch, she pressed it in Levi's wound. The man let out a small grunt. Then, the woman took Levi's right hand and put it over the cloth. She quickly undid the belt in her waist, and used it to envelope the man's abdomen, to make even more pressure over the wound–. Don't you dare to move your hand, Levi –said the woman.

–Let's go! –shouted Erwin.

They ran all the way to the carriage. Eren entered with the man in his arms, right after him was Squad Leader Hanji. The door closed behind her, and the carriage departed. He held Levi close to his chest, while seeing his pale face go even paler.

–Please hold on, sir –said the boy in a whisper, feeling his eyes water.

–Eren –called the woman.

–It was me the one they wanted, but Captain covered me.

–Eren, look at me –remarked Hanji in a severe tone. Eren did as told–. Levi is the most stubborn man I've ever known, he'll be fine.

* * *

–Out of the way! –shouted Hanji while driving them inside the hostel. People were shocked at the sight of the bleeding man in his arms, but the most curious ones were quickly dispersed by the hectic woman–. Moblit, bring my instruments. Someone else, bring water, soap and as many clean rags you can find. Move!

Without delay, she guided him to an empty room. There, Eren laid the man on the bed. After undoing the improvised tourniquet, the Squad Leader unbuttoned the man's suit and tore apart the bloody shirt. The Captain's wound was exposed. A deep, red hole stood out in his left side, surrounded by a dark stain of blood.

–We have to take out the bullet quickly, and then stop the bleeding. I hope you're ready to do what I tell you.

–Yes! –he answered right. The next instant, Moblit was entering the room with a heavy looking maletine.

–What happened to the Captain? –asked the guy, while Hanji rummaged between her so called instruments.

–Not now Moblit –she responded–. Where's the water, I needed it three seconds ago! –she screamed, taking out a sharp knife, a pair of tongs and a needle with thread. Eren swallowed hard.

–Here's the water! – a soldier brought a full bucket of it. Hanji was occupied cutting a bed sheet in little pieces.

–Put this in his mouth –she ordered, handing him a piece of fabric. While Hanji washed her hands, Eren carefully opened the man's lips to put the cloth in between his teeth–. Listen Eren, this will be painful, but no matter what, you have to make him still, understood? –she stated, putting another piece of cloth over her mouth and nose.

–Understood –he responded, watching the woman grabbing the knife first. Eren sat at the head of the bed, pressing down the man's shoulders against the mattress.

–Good –she said, before sinking the knife in the flesh.

Eren thought he would stand whatever came, no matter what. But when a primal scream tore out from the man's throat, blood falling in streams, all he could do was to close his eyes and push him harder to placate his spasms. He never thought Captain Levi would be capable of such noises. But he stood there all the time, feeling the pain in the man's body, fighting his own despair at hearing him cry. It took forever, or so it seemed to him.

–Here it is –said Haji with a mixture of tiredness and victory. Eren opened his eyes to see her holding the bloody bullet with the tongs–. The good news is that it didn't go deep, so it didn't touch a major organ –she said. The Captain was panting, face pale, eyes shut in exhaustion–. Let him pass out. He had endured enough pain already –said Hanji, leaving the bullet aside and grabbing the rags she previously made. It was time to stop the bleeding. Eren kept holding the man in the whole process of sewing, applying medicine and bandaging the wound. She finished, by injecting a substance in him with a syringe.

–The only thing we can do now is to wait. And hope for the best –she said. Later, he was left in charge of surveilling the man.

Once in a while she appeared to check if there was any bleeding. During that time, Eren never left his side; he barely ate, he barely slept. He wasn't good at waiting, nor hoping for the best.

It didn't take long until the fever came.

–Eren –called the man in whispers that night. Eren jumped out of his light slumber.

–Yes sir, I'm here –he said, fondly taking away the hair off his wet forehead. Away from his burning skin–. Squad Leader! –he screamed at full force. Hanji materialized the next instant. She erupted through the door and planted her hand on Levi's face. Her face became grim. She stomped out of the room.

–Get a tub with the coolest water you can get. Now! –Hanji shouted. Men outside bursted into action–. Eren, undress him –she ordered. Damnit. Were they really doing it?

–And his wound?

–It shouldn't get wet, but the fever is too high –she said, and left the room. Eren did as told. He pulled the blankets apart, earning a moan of protest from the man. Then, he wasted no time in taking his trousers off. With nothing to cover himself but modest underwear, the Captain shivered profusely. Carefully, Eren raised the man on his arms, and as quick as he could, he rushed to find the Squad Leader waiting for him with a small tub filled with water. He had to put the Captain, the man who hated cold the most, in a tub filled with icy water.

–I'm sorry, sir –he whispered to him, before softly introducing him on the tub. As soon as the freezing water came in contact, the man recoiled and let out a groan. Gathering resolve, he proceeded in spite of the protests. Once inside, what was just a shiver became a violent trembling. Eren's chest tightened, if it could be tighter than it was.

He knelt beside the tub. Tenderly, he held the man's head.

–I know, is fucking cold, isn't it? –he whispered in a soft voice. Just then, the man opened his eyes, barely enough to regard him. Those gray, intense eyes, were clouded by physical pain. Slowly, Levi managed to raise one of his hands. Eren catched it on his own, and gladly endured the pain as the man squeezed with all his might. In return, stroke his black locks with fondness, knowing it was the only consolation he could provide. Luckily, it only lasted a little while.

–It's alright now –murmured Hanji, after making sure the fever was controlled. And so, Eren lifted the shivering man up and out of the damn tub. Levi snuggled against his chest, as if that was the best shelter he could find to escape the cold. Hanji covered him with a towel and he brought him back to the bed. Once there, they changed the bandages once more–. The fever will continue, but it means his body is fighting. We have to keep it at a level, though. In the meantime, I'll use painkillers. Strong ones. He will rest well –she explained. Eren remained silent, terrified by Hanji's words–. Don't blame yourself for this, it is not good for you –she asked when the new injection was ready.

–I can't help it. I let this happen.

–Eren, he made a decision. You are very dear to him, you know that, right? He wouldn't have received that bullet otherwise.

–I hope that doesn't kill him.

–He's stubborn, remember? –she said, with a tired side grin. She stood from where she sat, and patted his shoulder–. Call if there's any change.

But things didn't change that much. After that, time slowed down. The previous days had gone by at a hectic pace, but after a cold tub and painkillers, the man did nothing but sleep. Suddenly, hours passed in a silent calm and Eren could spend them watching the man's peaceful expression. He had never seen him sleep that much. Every now and then, he would fall into a light sleep himself. He would take Levi's hand and rest his head on the mattress to close his eyes at moments.

In one early morning, the silent calm was brutally broken. There was loud banging. Someone was furiously knocking at the front door of the hostel. Eren was startled. There was a commotion downstairs. Someone was giving some sort of speech. Eren eavesdropped.

–...the present, we inform that Eren Jaeger is accused of trying to kill Captain Levi Ackerman, and will be taken as prisoner to be judged... To those who opposed… –Eren shut the door, his mind striked with a sudden realization.

So, that was the fucking plan. They couldn't kill him at once in the ball, so they would bring him to a trial, which certainly would. And if they had to kill the Captain in the process, they wouldn't hesitate. Fucking bastards. What could do the Scouting Legion in that situation? Very little, at least not until the trial.

More struggle was heard downwards, things were getting violent. Everyone in the hostel was in danger. He looked at Levi, he was in deep sleep. He couldn't give them the chance to get to him. But it wasn't him the one they wanted. So there was only one thing he could actually do.

The door of the room burst open, and was instantly closed later. It was Hanji, and she was frantic.

–They came for you –she announced, breathlessly.

–I know.

–They're accusing you of shooting Levi.

–I know.

–Erwin is trying to negotiate.

–He won't get anything.

–Not at all –she agreed. Eren spared a glance at Levi.

–I can't let them get to him.

–Are you going to give yourself? –Hanji asked, alarmed.

–Is the only way out –he answered.

–You're right –she answered, composing herself–. I will take care of him, don't worry.

–Thank you –Eren responded. He went to the bed and carefully sat on the mattress. Fondly, he removed the hair from the man's forehead, roaming his eyes over that sleeping face to remember it later. He leaned, to barely touch that pale forehead with his lips. Then, he raised and crossed the room towards the door.

–They are afraid of you, use that in your favor.

–I will –he answered and left.


	8. Fuck with whoever we want

**The whole fault**

Chapter 8: Fuck with whoever we want

The room was crowded with many living souls. Too many for his taste. On one side of the trial chamber, Military Police soldiers were already gathered, with the petulant attitude of those who knew they owned the place. On the other side, the much smaller group of Scouting Legion soldiers stood, with Hanji and the shiny Commander Erwin at the head, always with that dutiful calm that got to his nerves. At the far wall of the room, sat old Dhalis Zachary, perfectly comfortable in his dais. The situation was awfully known to him.

After endless moments, Zachary gave the signal to let in the final living soul that had to be included in that congested hall. They brought him, strongly chained, to the center of the room. They raised his arms, and hooked his shackles in a tall pole, so he was forced to stand tall, with all his vital spots exposed. Incredibly enough, the boy didn't show any kind of resistance, but it was only a facade; from his position, he could see his tensed muscles, his hands in tight fists and his sight hidden behind his overly long hair. Surely, he was making a great effort to refrain from murdering each one of the presents with his stare. Yes, the situation was awfully familiar.

After everyone was settled, Zachary started to talk.

–Cadet Eren Jaeger, titan shifter, has been a member of the Scouting Legion during the last three years, under the command of Captain Levi Ackerman, as was accorded in this same court. In this opportunity, he's being accused of attacking said Captain, while attending the ball they were invited. If the judge decides it, he will be found guilty of treason towards humanity, and that can lead to major consequences. Is that clear to the presents? –said the greybeard, clear as fuck. And so, the Military Police officer and Erwin gave their assent–. What has the Military Police to say? –asked the old man. The officer started to talk a lot of bullshit.

–Just as was said, Eren Jaeger was taken by the Scouting Legion after a trial just like this one. From that moment onward, there has been tensions between our regiments, and so, it was expected that the relationships could be mended in this annual celebration. But from the start we were shown hostility. Commander Erwin came to Wall Sina armed with a group of his soldiers, which made us wary of their intentions. Still, we were greatly surprised when we came to know that Cadet Eren Jaeger attacked and shot Captain Levi, leaving him seriously wounded. After seeing the rest of blood that was left at the place of the attack, we came to fear for the Captain's life. This only proves that Eren Jaeger can't be trusted, he's vicious and savage, and can't be controlled even by Humanity's strongest soldier. That's why we believe he is a danger to mankind and measures have to be taken as soon as possible.

–What measures do you suggest?

–Execution –responded the official, plainly.

–Eren Jaeger, what do you respond to the accusation?

–They're lying –answered the boy, firmly, but oddly calm.

–Is that so?

–Yes. I didn't attack Captain Levi.

–Go on.

–There was the noise of a fight coming from outside the ball. Following the Commander's order, the Captain took me out. On our way we were attacked by a group of men. One of them had a gun, he was aiming at me, but the Captain covered me, so he was shot instead.

–What happened after?

–I took the Captain with me, to get help. That's when I met with Commander Erwin and Squad Leader Hanji. We left immediately to treat the Captain's wound.

–Can you confirm his story, Commander Erwin?

–Indeed –answered the man–. First of all, I must inform you that the Captain's life is not in danger. After a proper recovery he should be fine to take full care of his responsibilities –said Erwin, earning a jolt from Eren and secretive whispers from the crowd. Proper recovery? As if–. Secondly, I would remind all the presents, that Cadet Eren Jaeger has played a crucial role in the war against titans the last years. He's very valuable to the Scouting Legion as a soldier and I couldn't afford to put him at any risk, that's why we came with a group of our soldiers to guard him. But after our men were confronted by soldiers from the Military Police, I had reasons to think that Eren Jaeger was in danger, so I ordered Captain Levi to take him out of the ball.

–Did you know about the attack the Cadet describes?

–I wasn't present, but we heard the shot. Little latter Eren Jaeger met us carrying the Captain. He was already wounded.

–How can you assure there was such an attack then?

–I saw the aftermath. There were six men in civilian clothes, all of them unconcious. Also, there was blood on the ground.

–Did you find the gun?

–No, we didn't.

–But you still believe in Eren Jaeger's word?

–Yes, I believe Eren didn't attack Captain Levi. And I believe they were attacked by an organized group from the Military Police –replied the blond man with severity. There was a commotion among the people. The officer looked personally offended.

–Are you saying there was a boycott prepared to ambush Eren Jaeger? –asked the old man.

–Yes.

–You have no right to say that! You have no proof! –shouted the officer over the hubbub. Zachary made silence.

–Do you have proof to sustain your accusation, Commander?

–It's true we couldn't find any gun in the aftermath, but there was something else left behind –explained Erwin. Right after, Hanji handed him a hanky neatly folded–. This is the bullet that was taken out of the Captain's body, and is mostly intact. Also, you will notice that this is the same kind of bullet that is used in the oficial weapons of the Military Police –claimed the man extending the bullet in front of the old man. He reckoned Erwin to get closer. Just as he was doing so, Zachary called the Military Police officer.

–Can you lend me your gun, Officer? –he asked. The bastard paled. Unwillingly, he took out his own gun, and went to the dais to give it to the old man. Zachary took out the bullets, and compared them. After a moment of examination, he spoke again–. As you said, Commander Erwin, they are the same kind of bullet.

More whispers were heard in the room.

–But how can we know Eren Jaeger didn't shoot at the Captain with one of our guns? He could have stolen it and made it disappear later –said the officer, agitated. Once the comment was made, from Eren's mouth came out a cynical laugh. All the presents fell silent at hearing such a disquieting noise from the boy, who had remained calm until that very moment. With some luck, he wouldn't say anything stupid.

–I'll ask you a question, mister. What would I gain by shooting my own Captain? –asked the boy, sending the officer an acid glare and a mocking grin. The man said no answer–. Because of him you have kept me alive this far. So what could I get by trying to kill my mentor? –asked the boy. Again, the officer's ajar mouth didn't emit any sound. Eren's mood turned darker–. You forced us to come to this shitty ball, while our comrades are risking their lives at the front. You attacked us, you tried to kill me, and now you accuse me of trying to kill my Captain. How pathetic. If you're so desperate to kill me, you better do it now that I can't defend myself. But then, who will save your sorry asses?

–He's insane! –shouted the officer.

–Yes! You have to be insane to kill titans with a maneuver gear and a pair of blades. But clearly, you have never done it! –shouted the boy. Oh. Not bad after all.

–Silence! –yelled Zachary while banging his table–. Eren Jaeger has a point, he gets nothing good out of killing Captain Levi. And we have no evidence to prove that Eren Jaeger is against humanity, he has performed well as a soldier in the Scouting Legion so far.

–But sir...

–On the other side, it would be extremely grave that someone could steal your men's weapons that easily, Officer –said the greybeard, leaving the man with no arguments. He still tried to protest though.

–Sir, how can we know that Eren Jaeger won't betray us in the future?

–We can't –responded Zachary, firmly. The officer, and many others, seemed shocked–. After Eren Jaeger's appearance, we have learnt that the world works differently from what we thought. We have no guarantees from the future, so the best we can do is to settle things in the present –he asserted. The room fell in a heavy silence, as the recent words sunk in. The next moment, he was speaking again–. The verdict will be given within three days. Until then, Eren Jaeger will stay in prison –the man sentenced, and so, the room filled with the uproar of people. In the turmoil, they took Eren out of the pole, and dragged him out his sight once more.

Three days? What could take them so damn long? True, the scenery seemed less unfavorable than before, but as long as Eren was kept as a prisoner by the Military Police, he wouldn't be at ease.

When the mass of people already vacated the court, Erwin came to his encounter. He found him sitting at his hidden spot, placed in a corner, behind a courtin, covered with shadows, but with a good view of what had elapsed. Erwin had insisted that if he was going to attend the trial, he had to be hidden from the public gaze. And especially from Eren's. The Commander cleared his throat to get his attention.

–It was better than I expected –said Erwin, with his common composed attitude.

–Tch. Your expectations were very low –he replied. The blond man frowned.

–He's truly getting his manners out of you, Levi –the man added. The Captain stood silent–. Let's go, the carriage must be waiting and Hanji went ahead of us already –said the Commander, offering him a hand to help him stand, but he rejected it with a hard glare of his own. He used his cane instead, to support his weight. Slowly, they made the whole way to the carriage, which would bring them back to the hostel. Alone with Erwin in the ever moving cabin, Levi found the privacy to speak his mind.

–I don't care about diplomacy, you have to take him out of there, any possible way.

–All in good time.

–If we wait too long and he is killed, then your mission will be for nothing.

–I know you may see it differently, but the mission was somehow successful.

–How so? Please explain it to me.

–Our arguments in the court were solid, it is unlikely that Zackary decides to kill Eren. Besides, we were able to thwart the complot against him, after all. And, fortunately, we didn't suffer from casualties other than yours.

–Fortunately –repeated the man, with obvious sarcasm. The Commander seemed to ignore it, instead, he fixed his stare on him–. What?

–On the other hand, there's something that worries me deeply. I've noticed that through time you and Eren have become close.

–We are captain and soldier, it is only natural.

–Natural or not, you have a special treatment with him, which has made us good. But, with the latest events my suspicions have become more serious. You have shown a particular concern towards Eren through the entire mission, and so had Eren during your convalescence. He spent day and night at your side before he was taken by the Military Police.

–You're not fooling me with your politeness. Go straight to the point, Erwin –said Levi, and the next moment, Erwin's mood got grim.

–Alright, I'll ask this quite frankly if that's your wish. Is there any unofficial relationship between the two of you? –asked Erwin. A moment of silence elapsed. Levi made the biggest of efforts to keep a straight face and not to show how all of him tensed at once.

–That's ridiculous. Like I said, he's nothing more than my subordinate.

–Incredibly enough, you're not good at lying –stated Erwin with a death serious voice. Levi knew he had to play his cards carefully.

–How could I have an interest in Eren?

–For starters, he's the only one you have received a bullet for.

–That's out of the point.

–I think it is not.

–He's more valuable than me.

–So, you do have an interest in him.

–Apparently I won't change your mind, no matter what I say.

–Correct.

–Bullshit.

–Now, please answer my question. Do you have an improper relationship with Eren Jaeger?

–Why should I answer if you're so convinced already?

–Do you have an improper relationship with Eren Jaeger? –asked the Commander more sternly.

That was it, the end of the secret. At that moment, Levi knew there was no other option left. Erwin had already strong suspicions; either way, it was to confirm them by telling lies he would see right through, or to confirm them with nothing less than the truth. If he was to be defeated, at least he would fall with dignity.

–Yes –said the Captain, through gritted teeth.

–What kind of relationship? –asked Erwin again. There was silence. For some reason, that question was harder to answer than the previous one.

–Eren is my lover –said Levi, bluntly. Erwin's furrowed eyebrows got even more furrowed.

–For how long?

–Longer than you think –he stated. There was a heavy silence. Erwin looked as if disappointed.

–I didn't expect this from you, Levi. It's greatly inappropriate what you've been doing, keeping a relationship that goes beyond what is acceptable. Do you understand how serious is this?

–Of course I do, you idiot –answered the Captain.

–Then why did you let it happen?

–We both know many things happen in the Scouting Legion. Not even half of them are allowed, but you let them be for the sake of everyone, don't you? You're not a saint either.

–You're not just getting involved with any subordinate, it's Eren. You're putting him in danger.

–Don't give me that shit! –Levi shouted–. You brought Eren to the nest of vipers, while all I've done has been in order to keep him alive –said the Captain, getting more agitated with each word.

–And are you still capable of killing him if you have to? –the Commander asked. Levi couldn't remember the last time he had choked with a lack of words–. So you have forgotten it's humanity's survival what we are dealing with.

–It's always about humanity's survival! But we humans die like pigs everyday! Can we at least live like humans and fuck with whoever we want!?

–No if it means Eren can betray us.

–What are you suggesting? –Levi asked, narrowing his eyes–. He won't betray humanity, he won't betray his Captain.

–Exactly. He may choose you over humanity, have you thought about that?

–Tch. I haven't forgot we're in the middle of a fucking war, and that he's your weapon –spit Levi, with venom on his voice. After that, they kept in silence until the carriage stopped. They had got to the hostel at last.

–You are wounded right now, but once you recover, there will be reprisals. Severe ones –stated the Commander, gloom coming in waves from his person.

–Do what you want with me, but take Eren out of the hands of those bastards. As soon as possible.

–Only when the time comes. And don't interfere in this, is an order –answered the blond man. And Levi sent him an infuriated gaze that only met a stony one. Then, calm as fuck, the Commander left the carriage, and went to the hostel.

There he was left, trembling in rage, his eyes fixed in a lost spot, as his mind wandered among the many ways he could tear those brows from that face. He descended pathetically from the carriage and limped into the lodge to his room. After shutting the door, he sat on the bed, his hand wandering repeatedly over his scalp.

He had one clear thing. If they wanted to kill Eren, they would find a way to do it anyway; a paid witness, a false evidence and all the solid arguments could turn into shit. In that scenario, Erwin would have no power to save Eren in time. But apparently he was too busy thinking that human justice could be righteous to remember it.

Hanji found him in the middle of his scheming.

–Levi? Is there anything wrong? –the woman asked–. Are you hurting?

–Shut the door and lower your voice –he demanded in a low growl. Hanji did as told, in spite of the evident doubt on her face.

–What happens? –she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

–Erwin knows –he replied. A moment's silence was enough to make the air heavier with the implications of those words–. And he is using Eren in his diplomacy game.

–What are you going to do about it? –asked Hanji once more. Levi raised his eyes to gaze at her, a plan already taking form in his head.

–Are you willing to disobey orders?

–For you? Yes –she replied–. And I know two more soldiers who will do it for Eren.

* * *

Eren was restless, utterly frustrated, with the horrible sensation of not fitting in his own skin. He felt like exploding, like shouting his lungs out, even the idea of turning into a titan right there and then crossed his mind. Why, oh why, had he to stay confined in a fucking cell while Captain Levi was still recovering from a shot? Right when he needed to be at his side, he was stuck in a dungeon who knew where, chained like an animal, waiting for an old grandpapa to decide if he was going to live or not. All because this pitiful bastards of the Military Police were simply too afraid of him to let him be.

How many days have passed since he saw him for the last time? Six? Seven? He had to be awake by then, right? The Commander said he was not in danger. He had to be conscious already, fussing about him having a trial again. Would he be as worried as he was over him? Yet, there was the chance of his condition being bad. Maybe the Commander said that as a strategy. Maybe he was still asleep, dealing with pain, or worse. In his mind he could still see his gray eyes half unconscious, his pale face coated in sweat, his body trembling with fever. He still heard him scream out of pain and whimper out of cold. Crap. The great Captain Levi didn't whimper out of cold, but the sound was too fresh in his memory to deny it. It was so wrong. How could such a strong man be in such a vulnerable state?

But that was a stupid question to ask. It was him, in his childish head, who forgot to remember that the legend of Humanity's strongest soldier was just that, a legend. Yes, he was strong, yet vulnerable at the same time; he was more than capable to deal with titans, but a single bullet shot by a human could still be the death of him. His brilliant realisation went further. Vulnerable, as any other human being, Captain Levi was going to die. Be it sooner or much later, one day he wouldn't be at his side. Damn, if it was decided, he wouldn't be able to be at Captain's side the day after tomorrow. The mere thought made him shiver in horror. No, he wanted more. Much more. More cups of tea, more afternoons of combat training. More missions following his orders. More nights sharing a bed. More furtive kisses. More waltz. More time.

Three years. For three years they have been in this. It wasn't easy to come up with a name to label it. What were they? More than captain and subordinate. Sure thing, neither of them wished for it to happen, but once it started, it was inevitable to fall. Somehow, they had managed to come to terms with it time after, and so they silently agreed not to struggle and simply live on. And they did live on. He had learnt to live with this sweet feeling in his chest when the man accepted his tea with a slight nod, when he lightly squeezed his shoulder after a tough mission, or when he pecked him on his cheek after doing a proper cleaning. That sweet feeling when the man appeared at his cell at night, and snuggled with him in bed, looking for his embrace to warm up his freezing body. Or when instead of snuggling, he straddled him with his legs and took his mouth into a deep kiss, silently asking to be touched.

Sex was something both of them had come to enjoy. What was so foreign at first, became something natural. To seek for pleasure together became a need. And it wasn't just the pleasure, it was a way to tell each other what couldn't be said with words. There was always something unsaid, some sort of silent tension that pulled them back together after hard times, over and over again. Sex was a way to remember they were still alive too. Somehow. Levi revived while making love, he transformed. There was a wild raging passion buried deep inside his very core, that always found its way out. In those times he allowed himself to be loud, to be needy, to be selfish. And with time, he had learnt to give the man what he demanded. Soon he discovered Levi melted with deep kisses, and blissfully trembled when those kisses went down his neck. Even though he prefered it rough, sometimes he liked to be gently treated, to slow down the pace and make it last longer. At the end he always clung to him, as if squeezing the life out of his body, asking to be squeezed just as tight. And when everything was over, when the heat and the energy started to leave him, he liked to be embraced so as not to lose all the warmth. He knew deep down in his guts that it wasn't just plain sex and mere fondness. It couldn't be.

Then, what was Levi to him? His Captain, his mentor, the one who inspired him to be stronger. With him, he felt more capable of bearing the burden on his back, because he wasn't alone. Because he would keep him alive, and would kill him when necessary. But the man was more to him than that. Three years back, he couldn't even imagine where their actions would lead to, he didn't expect the consequences could come so far. But now, he understood that, as he thought, the sex and the fondness were signs of a feeling much deeper. To him, Levi was his three years lover. Yes, lover. What else could he call the person he slept with? The man he cared the most? The person he wanted to spend his living days with? That was the reason why it terrified him to be executed by a grandpapa, or to lose the man over a single bullet. They couldn't die just yet, because there was still time that had to be spent together. He wanted to spend more of his existence at his side, he wanted to keep on being his lover through the years to come. And it didn't quite matter how many years could actually come. Knowing neither of them could assure a lasting union, he wanted to promise Levi that he would stick at his side for as long as he could hang on alive, and he wanted the same promise in return. That was it. That was what he truly longed for, to have some sort of promise that would bound them together, so they would have one other in spite of the circumstances. So they would somehow belong to each other even when they couldn't quite own themselves.

But, who was he fooling? It didn't matter at all what he wanted, because it wasn't in his power to decide what would happen to him in the next couple of days. For all he knew, everything could end at an old man's request. And then what? That would be it? He would have come this far to be left empty handed? Bullshit. Whatever happened, he would see Captain Levi again. It didn't matter if he had to escape or turn into a titan right there and then, he would see him once more, to tell him. To tell him everything...

–Over here. You have five minutes to speak with the prisoner. Then I'll take you out –said a voice, the one he learned to associate with the soldier who vigilated him. So, he had a visit. Who could it be? He stood right where he was, sitting on the ground, his face hidden behind his long hair, and listened carefully. Two pairs of steps. One was clear and steady, the soldier most likely. The second sounded dragged, as with a limp, and carried a strange thud. Zachary perhaps? Was his verdict already sentenced? The steps got closer, until they stopped altogether. The gate to his cell was opened, and the visitor stepped in. Then, the guard left with his steady footsteps.

–You're not a beaten dog, so don't act like one –said a cold tone. Eren could have sworn he felt his heart twist. He raised his eyes. There he was, Captain Levi stood in person, dressed in a simple suit, wearing the hard glare so proper of him, and supporting his weight over a cane. Just about seven days after receiving a shot, the man was standing on his feet all over again.

Mute and in shock, he slowly raised from the ground, dragging the chains with him, but didn't dare to take any step forward. Despite the ever imposing stance Levi showed off, Eren didn't want to put any strain on him, fearing the man would collapse at the minimum touch. But then, the man reached out his arm towards him, and doubt left. Eren advanced as far as his chains could allow, and when he couldn't come any closer, the Captain closed the gap. Carefully, but still with urge, he enveloped him with his hands, his arms, his shoulders, his whole body, cradling him against his chest, and burying his own face in that pale neck that was so sweet to him. For a moment, they stood like that, marveling at the presence of each other.

–You stink –was all the man said. Eren panted a little version of a sad laugh.

–I know –he replied, relief washing over him. The Captain was the same after all–. How are you?

–Better –he said. And maybe was true, but he could notice the evident effort Levi was doing to stand in his two legs.

–You shouldn't have stopped that bullet.

–Of course I had, don't be stupid.

–Why?

–Because you're more valuable than me right now –he stated as if it was obvious. Eren's chest ached.

–Don't ever say that –he said, leaning his forehead against the man's. Forcefully, Levi pulled him again, so he could whisper to his ear.

–Eren, listen to me. Is not official yet, but you have been sentenced to death –he declared. Eren froze–. I'm not letting you die any time soon, this is your chance to escape. I'll lead you out of here and two soldiers will cover your back, then you go on your own. I don't care what you have to do, cross the wall. Following the east road there's a small town near a forest, Hanji will wait for you there. You will have to disappear for awhile, so do what she tells you. And no matter what, stay safe. Is an order.

Before Eren could have a say about what was just said to him, Captain Levi pulled out of the embrace and took his distance. Just in time to hear clear and steady steps come near. Those were the shortest five minutes he ever experienced.

–Time's up –called the soldier, as if enjoying himself. With no delay he opened the gate, and not daring a step inside the cell, he waited for the Captain to come out. As soon as he did, the soldier quickly began locking it up again, not doubting in giving his back to Levi. That was his mistake.

–Hey –called the Captain, using his effective ability to intimidate any soldier with his cold voice. As expected, this soldier was startled. The moment he averted his eyes from the lock, the man's cane landed across his face. The moment after it whacked his temple, making his head collide against the bars. When he collapsed to the ground, he was already unconscious. And the blessed keys were still hanging from the lock. Quickly, the man opened the cell once and for all–. Hurry –he ordered, handing him the keys. Not having the time to be surprised, Eren speed into action and freed himself from the shackles.

Without hesitation, he followed the man out of the dungeon. The stairs up proved to be a challenge, for the Captain's limp wasn't an act at all. He kept moving without protest, though. Soon, they got to the dungeon's door, from where Levi spied the scenario. Two guards on sight; with a sign of his hand, the man gave him the cue to advance. Trespassing the door and using surprise at his favor, Eren charged at them. They didn't stand a chance against his barely contained fury. Once the way was clear, the Captain took the lead once more. The inside of the building was a real maze, but the man seemed to know exactly which way had to be followed.

They kept advancing at a quick pace, slowing down only to avoid a sleeping guard or to knock down the one who wasn't. Like that, they got to a bigger pair of doors. Surely, that was the exit of the prison. Eren pecked outside. It was night. Around three or four soldiers wandered in the shadows. Two of them guarded the doors. At that moment, the Captain lost his balance. He leaned on the closest wall, clutching his side and the cane in his hand. Startled, Eren rushed to him.

–Captain? –he whispered.

–With some luck our soldiers cleared part of the way –the man said in between pantings–. I'll guide you, but if I can't continue, you keep going, understand? –said Levi, but it was an order he couldn't quite accept–. Eren, please.

–Yes, sir.

The next instant he was outdoors, facing the surprised soldiers. He took care of the nearest ones and when the others noticed his presence, Captain Levi came out of the shadows to assault them. After some struggle, they managed to reduce them, but it was evident that Levi wasn't in a good condition. When he seemed to be about to plummet, he hurried to support him. Puting one of the man's arms over his shoulders, he half dragged him through the open.

–Where to now?

–That hallway –Levi responded through gritted teeth. Eren kept going, wary of the guards that could appear. Their soldiers were doing a good job though, for they came across with none during several minutes.

Their luck changed drastically when they turned a corner. In their race, they ran into a little multitude. Several soldiers from the Military Police were gathered, while two hooded figures stood at the center, fighting them back. They were seen right away.

–The prisoner! –shouted a soldier.

Then, everything happened within seconds. Levi readied himself to protect him; two pairs of well known eyes returned Eren's gaze behind masking clothes; Mikasa, Armin; a Military Police soldier aimed a musket at him; Mikasa rushed and diverted the shot just in time; "Run!", shouted Armin; Eren dashed through a side corridor, the Captain still hanging from him.

The sound of the shot must have alerted the whole Military Police quarters, for the path that was clear of soldiers was suddenly crowded of them. He didn't know where he was heading anymore, he just kept running and running, trying to avoid at all cost the increasing number of bastards that chased them. Eren felt desperate, he knew the Captain couldn't stand any longer. After finding a dark passage, still empty from soldiers, he eased the man to the ground, leaning him against the close wall.

–Eren, go –he demanded, while breathing erratically and grasping his wounded side.

–I can't –Eren answered, not daring to lose his grip on the man.

–You fucking idiot, go already! –the Captain shouted. But he stood right where he was, his arms still wrapped around the man. He had wished desperately for another opportunity to see Levi, but he was urging him to part ways again. This time, if he left the man behind, he would be the one to pay for the crimes of both. Eren wouldn't let that happen.

Soon enough, they were found and surrounded.

–Stay still! Rise your hands! –someone screamed. He was giving them his back, but he could read in Levi's eyes that this time he had many muskets pointed at him–. Rise your hands, I said! –screamed the same voice as before.

–Don't come any closer or I kill this man –he threatened, not letting go of Levi's orbs, who silently asked him what on earth was he doing. He knew his words had the desired effect; they were surprised enough not to know how to react–. Hold onto me –Eren whispered. He had half a second to see the Captain's shocked gray eyes before he quickly enveloped him in a tight embrace. With his mind set in a clear goal, he bit himself.

His body was crossed by bolts, his consciousness became dull, his senses expanded. Bones, flesh and skin that wasn't there before, sent new information of the world surrounding him, and told him everything was much smaller than he remembered. He opened his new eyes.

Night. City. Wall beyond city. Little people shouting at his feet. Gray eyes. A voice whispering to him. "I don't care what you have to do, cross the wall". He ran. Bell rang. Alarm. Run. More little people shouting. Run. Little people flying through the air. Run. Little people landing on his shoulder. Armin. Mikasa. Keep running. Too many buildings. Small streets. Little people chasing him. Damn little people. Run. Wall ahead. Closer. Door. Door closed. "Keep running. We will open the gate for you". Mikasa. Armin. Be careful. I love you. Keep running. Little people getting closer. Damn little people. But not to kill. Turn around. Keep running. Little people clumsy. Good. Not to kill. Keep running. Cracking sound. Door slightly open. Enough. Run. Drop. Slide. Outside. Mikasa. Armin. Thank you. Be careful. I love you.

Night. Open field. Forest beyond open field. Gray eyes. Voice whispering. "Following the east road there's a small town near a forest, Hanji will wait for you there". Hanji. Crazy. Safe. Run. Run. Run. Road. Not to step on the road. Safer. Run. Run. Run. Gray eyes. Black hair. Pale skin. Sweet mouth. Red blood. Keep running. Not to stop. Run. Run. Run. Not to stop. Forest. Not much longer. Trees. Light. Dawn. Small town nearby. Tired. Fall. Hard ground.

Air. They needed air. The consuming flesh was hard to fight, but he struggled with all the strength he had left. A moan came from the one below him. He struggled harder. Finally, the flesh loosened. Pulling the other with him, they emerged from the titan body. They gasped for air. The man in his arms coughed. Eren was relieved. But he couldn't be quite relieved. They weren't safe at all. Not yet. However, his body didn't respond. All the time without sleeping nor eating in the prison, all the worry he went through and the long race left him exhausted. His body wavered, unable to support the weight on his own. He couldn't find the energy to protest when Levi pulled him down, to let him rest on a hard, gentle chest that received him with an embrace.

–It's alright, Eren. You did it –he said, his voice hoarse and barely above a whisper.


	9. This time, do it nice

**The whole fault**

Chapter 9: This time, do it nice

He stood at the center of the court, chained to that pole he had come to hate. The room was strangely empty. It was always crowded when the matter was about him. However, no other living soul filled the place aside from Commander Erwin, who sat at the dais, sending him a hard glare. He spoke.

–Eren Jaeger, you have betrayed humanity –he asserted with a strident voice–. You have proved to be a failure as a man. What is worse, you dragged your superior with you –accused the Commander.

–No, you're wrong! –pure terror gripped Eren's guts. When did they find out? How?

–You have had relations with your Captain! –Erwin shouted with evident disgust. Eren was shocked to the bone, as if struck by lightning.

–You know nothing! –he screamed, but the force of his voice wasn't enough to make Erwin waver. He kept speaking, in a sickening calm tone, that made his blood boil in rage.

–This shameful crime cannot be tolerated, measures have to be taken –claimed Erwin. At the last words, figures came out of the shadows. Men dressed like soldiers dragged a person wrapped in a ragged uniform. They threw him to the floor. It was impossible to recognize him at first, but then, the person had the strength to raise his head. The gray piercing eyes behind half opened lids were unmistakable, even in a face that was transfigured with bruises, even in a body that was covered in dirt–. Your punishment will be execution. But, you're not the one to be executed.

Eren froze.

Erwin calmly got off the dais, and walked towards the beaten man. He was going to kill him. He was going to kill him. He was going to kill him. Eren fought. He struggled, he shouted. But his body was firmly restrained, and no voice came out of his mouth. Immobilized and mute, he could only see what would happen next. Erwin took out a gun. He pointed it at the man's chest. He pulled the trigger.

There was a scream. Instead of the courtroom, a strange roof hung over him. The scream was his. Instinctively, he extended his hand to the left side of the bed. It was empty. Why was it empty!? Right, he was sleeping alone. He sat and desperately rubbed his face, trying to calm his vigorous panting, trying to erase from his mind eye the horrible picture. A nightmare. A nightmare. It was only a nightmare. But he couldn't quite convince himself. His heart was beating painfully in his chest, his breath kept coming out frantically, sweat fell in drops off his skin. In his mind he could still see the blood, he could still hear the shot. But it was all a figment of his head, right?

Soon, the last events his memory could recall came back all at once. The Captain took him out of prison. They were escaping the Military Police. They were surrounded. He transformed. Everything became a haze then. He crossed the wall. He left Mikasa and Armin behind. Then he ran through the open until he found a forest. He collapsed. The last thing he could remember was the man's soothing voice. What happened then? Where were they? How was Levi?

He threw the blankets aside and jumped off the bed. He rushed to the door of the room, ready to dash out of it. He almost bumped into something. Someone. Hanji. She had to know where he was.

–Eren, you're awake! How do you feel? –she asked, surprised with the sudden encounter.

–Where is he? Please, tell me where is he –he begged.

–The next door –she simply said, quickly stepping out of the way to let him pass. Eren dashed through a little corridor, and stumbled through a minute door. The first sight that met his eyes was a small bed cornered in a small room, lit by a small lamp. Captain Levi stood on the bed, returning his gaze, shock all over his features. He looked fine.

–Eren? –he asked. After two strides he was at his side. He knelt on the bed. He enveloped Levi with an embrace. He stamped his mouth against the man's lips. He kissed him, a simple but passionate touch, enough to make him feel relieved. He heard the door shut behind him, Hanji was giving them space. Eren left the man's lips a moment later. Instead, he softly leaned his head against the man's chest. It rocked up and down, up and down, throbbing with an agitated, but ever present beat. A pair of arms embraced him in return. The relief was overpowering, it made his eyes wet. It was just a nightmare–. Relax, I'm alright –the man said in a soft voice. But Eren didn't respond, he fondly rubbed his face against his chest instead–. What happened? –asked the man.

–I had a nightmare, that's all –he explained, his voice hoarse.

–Was it that bad you had to come see if I was alive? –Levi questioned.

–Yes –he answered. Then, a hand grasped his chin, forcing him to raise his face.

–What will I do with you? –he murmured. Eren held the man's gaze, resisting the penetrating examination with unwavering resolve–. Come here –he ordered.

Eren did as told. He slowly leaned over him, taking away the hair from his forehead with a soft caress. Eren closed his eyes just before pressing his lips against the man's, this time, more gently. The tender contact became more passionate at the second try. His tongue caressed the man's lips with loving licks. Finally the mouth parted, giving him access. Once again, he marveled at the wet warmth that welcomed him. He caressed that sweet interior with eagerness, receiving an equally eager response. They went on, getting lost at the sensations, until air was more needed. Carefully, he cleaned the wetness out of Levi's lips when they parted.

Eren was forcefully pulled forwards; a wordless command to lie on the bed. He gladly obeyed. Lying on his side, drawing closer to Levi, Eren found the posture to envelope him in a gentle embrace that wouldn't hurt him. The man found the place to rest his head in the hollow between Eren's shoulder and neck. They fell into a warm silence, until Eren spoke.

–Are you sure you're fine?

–Yes. I'm still surprised though. I never expected you would put me inside a titan.

–I didn't know that was possible either. But I had to take you out of there.

–Well, you did. I'm grateful –he said in a calm voice. Eren's chest swelled with affection. He made his embrace a little tighter in return.

After another moment of silence, Levi spoke again.

–Eren, there's something I need to tell you.

–Yes?

–Erwin found out about us –he said bluntly. Eren tensed immediately, but he stood right where he was–. Is my fault. He had a suspicion and he cornered me to make me speak. He didn't believe my lies, so I confessed. I hope you know what this means –the man said in a grim tone. Eren rose a little from his position to look the man in the eyes–. I knew Erwin wouldn't have the power to act if you were sentenced to death. So when it happened I acted against orders. Hanji and your friends agreed to help with this. They will find a way through this, but you are a fugitive now, not just from the Military Police, but from the Scouting Legion too –he said calmly. Then he lowered his eyes–. Sorry –he finished. Eren's already moved chest threatened to burst right then and there. An apology? But there was nothing to forgive.

–Don't be. You saved my life, so I should be the one thanking you. You also sacrificed many things, and you are as much of a fugitive as I am –he said, tenderly. Levi's expression softened considerably–. But we will come up with something. Don't think too much about it now. Please, try to sleep.

–Don't tell me what to do –the man answered with fondness. Eren gave a little laugh. After settling against each other, he started to tenderly play with Levi's hair with his free hand. That always made him relax. Only a moment after, he could hear the steady breath of the finally sleeping man.

Apparently, Hanji was still treating him with painkillers, so sleep was easy to fall into for him. Instead, Eren was wide awake, knowing that another battle with sleep was going to take place. But he stood right where he was, wrapping Levi with utmost care, bracing himself for defeat. He simply couldn't settle down his thoughts; his mind was a hurricane of mixed feelings and contradictory thinking he couldn't quiet.

So Commander Erwin knew about them. It was terrible on its own mesure, but he couldn't feel quite surprised either. Hanji knew before anyone, but even if she kept the secret, they would give themselves away sooner or later. Somehow, it was inevitable. On the other hand, they knew from the beginning what they were doing. Being together wasn't acceptable in their circumstances, but they had decided to simply ignore that fact. In spite of the consequences, he was glad with his decision. He didn't regret falling for Levi. Even if it made him a fugitive for his own comrades.

A fugitive for his own comrades, because Commander's righteous judgement wasn't as righteous as he once believed. But they were safe and sound after all. Levi had survived a bullet, he had survived a trial. They had survived an escape. Not so long ago, he was at prison, swearing to himself he would see Levi again to tell him everything that went through his mind. Well, his wish was granted. It was his chance, he had to be brave to take it and not to fear the aftermath. Not to fear the aftermath. Not to fear...

At some point of the night, his thoughts vanished into restless oblivion. But it didn't last long. The next time he opened his eyes, he was still in a strange room. Extending his arm he found he was alone in that crumpled bed.

The place they were in seemed to be a small cottage, with nothing more than a pair of rooms and a short hallway that led to the main space. On his way there, he could hear two voices having a discussion.

–We don't have time to lose –said Levi.

–I know, but he needs more rest, and so do you –argued Hanji. They both sat at a rustic table, filled with the military version of biscuits and mugs that surely were filled with no more than plain water.

–I'm fine, but I agree the Captain needs more rest.

–Eren, we were just talking about you –said the woman directing her attention to him–. You have to tell me everything! How did you transform into a titan with Levi inside? What were you thinking? What was your goal?

–Shut up, Hanji. We have more important things to deal with –said Levi, sending her a glare.

–Right. Eren, you must be hungry. I'm sorry, but this is the only thing I can offer you –she said, handing him one of the rations.

–Thanks –he answered, ready to sink his teeth in that tasteless but very nutritious snack–. What's the situation?

–Listen Eren, this is the plan. There's a small hut we used in the past as supply storage here at wall Rose. Is pretty far from any surrounding village so it is mostly forgotten. I really doubt Erwin would try to look for you there –explained Hanji.

–The idea is to stay lost for as long as we can. With some luck Erwin will remember he can't fight the war without you –Levi clarified–. Until then Hanji will keep us informed.

–When do we depart? –asked Eren.

–Tomorrow –the man responded.

–Will you stand the travel?

–That's the same I was asking –Hanji commented.

–I'm fine enough. We can't stay here any longer.

–Alright –he answered, without further discussion. The woman sighed in defeat, while sanding from her seat.

–By the way, Eren –said Hanji, searching for something in her pocket–. Your friends left you this –she said, handing him a wrinkled piece of paper. Then, she walked towards what had to be the front door–. Please, eat all you can –she said, after leaving.

Eren took Hanji's seat, looking at what she gave him. It was a single piece of paper, closed with candle wax. He opened it to find a little note with Mikasa's handwriting. Silently, he read it.

Eren was moved. Somehow Mikasa always knew what to tell him at the right moment. He read the note again and again, and each time he was more and more resolved. He would tell Levi everything. Everything. And he wouldn't waste another second.

–Captain...

–Technically, I'm no longer your Captain –Levi interrupted.

–I don't think I can call you by your name.

–I know you can –said the man. Eren filled his lungs with air, preparing himself for what was to come.

–Levi, I have to tell you something too –said Eren in a soft voice, and his eyes fixed in the man's.

–Speak –he answered.

–I've been thinking this for awhile –he started, carefully–. You could have died.

–Don't be ridiculous –responded the man, visibly annoyed.

–Listen to me. You're vulnerable like everyone else.

–So what? –asked the man. Eren took himself a moment, looking for the words.

–We have been together in this for three years, and now I understand what it means –he said, solemnly. Levi was silent–. But one day you won't be here, and I'm scared. Before that happens, I want to make sure to spend as much time as I can with you.

–What, do you want me to be more than your lover? –asked Levi, almost sarcastically.

–Yes.

Silence. For a little while, Levi was speechless. His brows furrowed more and more with each passing second. After what seemed and eternity, he stood from his seat. Eren felt a fist landing on his face. He fell to the floor.

–Do you realise what are you asking? –asked Levi, fury radiating from his eyes and voice.

–Yes.

–Do you realise it, Eren! –he asked once more.

–Yes! –the youth answered, rising from the floor.

–No, you don't! –he shouted back.

–I want to stay with you for as long as I live, is there something wrong with that?

–Some people would call it marriage, and it's far from our possibilities! –Levi spat. For a couple of seconds, Eren was taken aback. The word marriage had never crossed his head.

–I disagree.

–I won't make you promises I know I can't keep.

–Wouldn't you take a chance? –Eren asked, with a begging voice. There was a heavy silence.

–Is being lovers not enough for you? –Levi asked, in a flat tone.

–Not anymore.

–Then you will have nothing –the man declared, harshly. So harshly that Eren felt a pang of pain in the chest. Levi stood from his chair and gave him his back, ready to leave.

–What are you afraid of? –he said, before the man could get away–. Are you afraid of me dying? Well, that's not a good reason to me at all –claimed Eren, feeling more furious by the second. Lavi stabbed him with his eyes.

–You're too stubborn to die right away, and I'll make sure to keep you alive while I can. But someday you will have to choose. You are willing to die for humanity, but will you fight to stay alive despite that? –the man questioned.

–What? –asked Eren in a whisper, taken aback. He bursted the next second–. You trained me to be a soldier!

–But you are more than a war instrument, you fucking idiot! –Levi screamed with a full voice.

A moment of heavy silence passed in between them.

Levi's agitated breath became laborious. Then a muffled groan left his mouth. He grabbed his wounded side. He leaned against the table, but his legs were giving in. Eren was at his side at once.

–Levi? –he called, as the man slipped to the floor in between his arms. Out of fear, Eren pulled off Levi's shirt, and quickly checked the state of his wound. Fortunately, there wasn't any bleeding, but it meant something else–. Hanji! –he called, forgetting for a second the woman's title. Not so later, she was bursting through the front door–. The painkiller is wearing out!

–Make him still –she ordered. Eren secured Levi's head close to his chest, and wrapped an arm around his legs. He had to avoid the wounds opening again. Just when he was getting impatient, Hanji appeared again. Out of a little box, she extracted a syringe. She took Levi's closer arm and rolled his sleeve up to expose the veins of his inner elbow. There were already several purple marks of previous injections. Wasting no time, she attached a rope around the upper arm. When she found a proper place, she introduced the needle in the skin. Eren felt the man slightly flinch and then, seconds later, become lax in his arms when the substance got into his sistem.

All that was left afterwards was an exhausted man, panting and half conscious. Eren's heart clenched.

–Whatever you were doing, it's not the time now. Levi needs to rest –said Hanji, and Eren felt like the worst person inside the walls–. Let's take him to his room –she said to Eren. Carefully not to put any pressure on the man's wound, he lifted him out of the floor. The boy made the short way with Levi in his embrace, followed closely by Hanji. With the woman's help, Eren laid the man on his bed. And while she occupied herself with checking him, he took his leave, knowing he would do no good staying there.

Eren returned to the table, where Mikasa's note was forgotten, and sat. Absentmindedly he grabbed it, still remembering what it read.

"We are sorry for not telling you this in person. Armin and I are happy that we can help you out, even if we can't follow you this time. But don't worry about us, we will be fine. The Captain is a good man. I don't like him much, but I can see why you chose him. Hold onto him if you must. And please live for yourself. Now everyone will be behind you, so you must find your way. Take care. We love you."

Yes, he loved them too. And he was greatly thankful for them. But here he was now, after the chance they gave him, he was screwing it again.

What was he expecting at confessing to Levi like that? Was he expecting open arms and straightforward acceptance? Too bad. He wasn't even completely aware of what he was asking.

Marriage. The promise to share one's life with another for as long as one can. Between men? In the middle of war? Madness. And yes, it was hard to keep promises with how the world was. Danger and death were constant fellows. But they were soldiers, right?

No, not anymore. They were rejected by their own Legion. The same Legion he was supposed to offer his heart to.

"You are willing to die for humanity, but will you fight to stay alive despite that?"

All his pitiful life he had lived to fight, and to fight no matter the risk. To fall head first into battle without a care had been the only way he had known to exist. Later, when to die in the war became an awfully real possibility, he didn't stop to give it too much thought.

This time though, Levi was asking him to live. In spite of the war, the danger, the death, the duty. Was he allowed to deny his duty? Was he more than a war instrument as Levi claimed? If he wasn't a soldier anymore, what was left for him?

Once more, Armin and Mikasa were there to save him from his stupidity. Before being a soldier, before being a titan shifter, he was already someone. He was a friend, he was a brother. And to Levi, he was a lover. The man's question was terribly simple. Was that enough reason to keep living?

* * *

When he woke up, the first thing he saw was candle light. And the first thing he heard was Hanji's voice.

–Oh, you're awake. Hey there –she whispered with a cheerful tone. Levi moved, realising he was on a bed. A pang of pain pinched his side. He hissed–. It is bad for your body to have too many emotions at once, you know? –she commented, handing him a mug with water. Levi refreshed his dry throat.

–Did you hear? –he asked with a hoarse voice, handing her the mug back.

–It was impossible not to. I was starting to freak out.

–Then you know already.

–That your little boy turned into a man? Oh, yes –she claimed–. Can you believe it? You received a proposal.

Levi averted his eyes.

–Come on, you're past the point of doubting. You accepted to fall for him years ago –she argued–. You can't leave things like this.

–What do you suggest then?

–Listen to what he has to say. Let him answer your concerns, and only then take a decision –she said, suddenly death serious.

–Where is he?

–Waiting outside. He felt too guilty to be in here –she explained. Levi remained silent. After a moment with no reply, the woman seemed to understand the silent dismissal–. Well, I see you have a lot to think about. Shout if you need anything –she said. Then she simply stood and left the room, carrying the little chair she sat on with her.

Good. Because, actually, had a lot to think about and in the silence of that small room he could free the rains of his troublesome thoughts.

At some point over the last three years, he remembered that, as every person in his life, Eren was temporary. Their relationship had little sense, being both men and having that ridiculous age gap in between. Besides, Eren was young, reckless, impulsive, and tragedies occurred every day. He would do all in his power to keep him alive, but as he had been reminded, his power had limits. So, sure thing, the time would come for it to be over. Still, even knowing all that rationally, it was incredibly painful to embrace the possibility of finishing whatever relationship they had. He seriously doubted he would ever be able to simply dismiss the past, dismiss Eren, and keep on living as he had done many times. However, he didn't expect to be asked for a lifetime compromise. How the fuck did Eren got that idea?

No, he refused. Because, whether it was a pursuit for revenge or a pursuit for freedom, to Eren the war was personal. He would give his all to the cause, without measuring the sacrifice. He would fail, or worse, he may succeed, but at the end, he, the pitiful Captain, would be the one to lose it all. He would be the one left behind, in the world of the living. And so, he refused to compromise if Eren was eager to shorten his lifetime. He would not compromise to anything if he wasn't enough reason for Eren to stay alive. How could Eren give himself to someone else, if he belonged to the war?

How selfish he was being. Seeking to take from the world the one guy who could do something to change it. Too bad he didn't give a fuck anymore. As Hanji said, he accepted to fall for Eren years ago. And he couldn't find in himself the energy to regret it. Not anymore. Because he was just a pathetic human being, with no interest in pretending to be something better.

Then, what to do? No, he couldn't leave things like this, not if they were supposed to succeed at being fugitives from the Scouting Legion. Hanji was somewhat right. He had to give Eren the chance to speak for himself, he had to give Eren the chance to prove him wrong. Because he wanted to be proven wrong. Because the boy wasn't a boy anymore, but a young man with his own wishes, with his own will. Because maybe said man was seeing something he couldn't, or maybe he was simply being braver than him.

Wasn't he being reckless too? Maybe. And with things coming this far, he couldn't do anything but keep recklessly pushing further. That knowledge gave him new resolve.

Levi propped himself with his elbows, struggling to come to a sitting position. Then, carefully, he raised from the bed and stumbled his way to the door. Hanji was sitting outside, reading a book she got who knew where. Right beside her was Eren, crouching on the floor. The instant their glances met, the young man was already rushing to his feet, sending him a terribly worried look. Hanji sighed and closed the book, her reading interrupted.

–Take it slow tonight. You don't want to stress your body too much –warned the woman.

–I don't plan to –replied Levi.

–Good –she answered, standing from her spot and stuffing the book inside her jacket–. I'll be outside –she said, waving her hand and walking absentmindedly to the front door of the hut. Levi silently thanked the privacy.

The nexts instant, his eyes were fiercely pierced by Eren's. For eternal seconds, they kept battling in a mute contest to see who would make the first move. Apparently, the youth was more resolved than he gave him credit for, for out of the blue, he advanced the few steps between them. Slowly, as to give him the time to retreat, he got closer and closer, until he cupped his face with both hands. Levi turned his head to the side, as if to avoid the imminent kiss. When Eren saw his resistance, he decided to leave it not in his mouth, but on the corner of it.

–If I speak will you listen? –asked the young man, almost in a whisper. As a response, Levi nodded once.

And so, ever so softly, he was pushed backwards, until he felt the edge of the bed. He was encouraged to sit. Then, Eren was kneeling in front of him, sending him a glance that spoke silent words. Soon those words came out of his mouth.

–I'm sorry for causing you pain –said Eren in a soft voice. For a moment, Levi averted his eyes–. You were right. I want to win the war, but I'm not just a soldier.

–Aren't you? –asked the man in a defiant tone, and defiant stare.

–No. I'm someone to you, right?

–You are. But what am I to you?

–You are the most important person to me –whispered Eren, solemnly, while looking at him intently. Levi held his gaze, bravely.

–Can you prove it?

–I can promise you that I'll fight to keep living. For you.

–What difference does it make?

–It does! –exclaimed the young man–. Because if we don't make promises, what else do we have to hold onto?

–So you expect me to just hold onto your word?

–Yes. Wouldn't it be nice? –asked Eren, imploring him with his eyes. Somehow, that made Levi lose a good amount of his composure. He grabbed the youngster violently by the collar, dragging him so they stood face to face.

–I want more than your word –the man said, piercing right through green orbs, his own voice an odd mixture of anger and anguish.

–And you will have more, but you have to take the risk –said Eren, wrapping the hand that grabbed him with his–. I'll be taking it too, don't you see? Because with a bullet you can be gone too –he explained. Levi clicked his tongue and quickly averted his eyes, annoyed by the reminder of his own fragility–. I'm asking you to take the risk with me. Please.

–Ask harder –demanded Levi in a low voice.

Not wasting a moment, Eren charged at him. The man was suddenly enveloped in a careful yet firm embrace, and no longer after, a hot mouth was devouring his. The surprise of the sudden attack was quickly gone, Levi held onto Eren's shoulders without thinking twice. He didn't want to hold back, he didn't want to resist, not even to protest. So, giving himself to the sensations without a thought, he felt his guts melt little by little with Eren's desperate kisses. The man could feel that, even in the ardour of the moment, he was being careful in his insistence, not putting too much force, listening to his reactions. Gently, Eren pushed him backwards to make him lie on the bed. The next instant, he was hovering over him.

Soon, those lips went down his neck, sending delightful chills through his back; even the apple at his throat received loving nibbles. Gasps left the man without his consent when a pair of warm hands raised the shirt that covered his torso. His exposed chest was next in receiving that hot mouth's attention. Wet kisses were left at his most sensitive spots before those went down and down, until the skin was replaced by bandages. Tenderly, Eren rubbed the zone of the injury with his lips, softly caressing the place that had given him so much pain the last days. Levi was strangely moved by the gesture, so in response, he dragged the young man's face towards his in order to capture his mouth once more.

Suddenly, Levi felt a hand tugging at the hem of his pants. Slowly, very slowly, the garment was lowered until his bare flesh was exposed to the cold. Instants later, an equal flesh met with his. A moan came out of his lips, the young man joined him with heavy panting. And then, a warm hand started to stroke both of their lengths. Oh, how he missed it. To be held with desire, to be touched with eagerness. So many days had passed in which his body felt nothing but pain and his spirit nothing but deep concern over Eren's survival. At last, his mind and body were numbed with pleasure. So numbed, that he barely noticed that his legs were slightly spread, so a waist could fit in between. The hand was replaced by a soft rocking, a nice friction hip against hip that made his moans come rhythmically. Only then, he realized how he really missed it. That mere stroke against his member was making wonders on him; his heart ran like crazy, his breath was quick, and he felt a demanding desire of getting more. His hips started to move on his own, but a pair of firm hands made them still. Levi moaned in protest.

–You're hurt, let me do it for you –murmured Eren right in his ear, with a low, endearing voice. And so he kept going, making the man forget what he was protesting for. The constant strokes were soon taking him to new heights, making him feel nothing but sweet pleasure. One, that was getting more and more hard to bare. He wouldn't last long, he was dangerously close to his limit, and Eren's vigor was doing nothing but pushing him closer. How pathetic, was he really in need of such touch?

–Eren... –moaned Levi.

–It's alright, don't restrain –he answered, just before putting a little more pressure between their hips. That took a louder whine from the man, and a hoarse groan from Eren that followed. The young man kept swaying and swaying until Levi let out a high pitched gasp when he felt his insides release the accumulated tension at once. Only moments later, Eren was grunting, joining Levi in his bliss, that sweet bliss the man felt every time he got off by Eren's doing.

For the next instant, he stood there, underneath the younger one, panting, with his eyes closed, with the excitement still lingering in his throbbing body. At a delicate touch on his pelvis, he soon found out that Eren had taken off his shirt and was carefully cleaning the wet mess they left afterwards. Levi was silently thankful, even more so when Eren ensured to arrange his pants back in place and to properly cover him with blankets again.

–Lie with me –he whispered, not begging, but not demanding either. Not a moment after, Eren was looking for space in the small bed. There, the man snuggled against the youth's chest, finding a warm spot to recline his head. In return, he was enveloped in a delicate embrace. There was a long silence, in which Levi could only hear their breathing and Eren's thudding heart.

He had his answers already. Or at least, all the ones he could get, for it was absolutely impossible to foresee the future outcome. And maybe that was a good thing, because it gave him the chance to choose.

Knowing it was the last thing ought to be done to seal his choice, he reached Eren's ear, to whisper softly into it.

–Ask me again. And this time, do it nice.


	10. Ceremony

**The whole fault**

Chapter 10: Ceremony

It took days of exhausting journey at horseback to get to the abandoned hut. They brought very little with them, a single palfrey, a canteen, and a sack with all they could gather; a pair of cloaks, a blanket, a few provisions, and medicine to treat Levi's wounds. The man endured stoically the hardships of the trip, but Eren made sure to stop the ride and make him rest every time it seemed he was having it too rough. And so days went on, sharing the horseback at daylight, sharing body heat at nighttime. The food rations and the water were beginning to scarce by the time they made it to the place.

It was a humble construction in the middle of nowhere, with just a pair of trees to keep it company, and a well that luckily still had water suitable to drink. The inside was almost void of any furniture, there was just a fire pit and a forgotten mattress they could use as bed. But, as promised by Hanji, it was well stored with food supplies, clothes, maneuver gear replacements, and even unused soap still wrapped in its original package. Maybe it wasn't much at all, but it was enough of an oasis to anyone who craved to have a roof over their head.

The first task at hand when they got there was, of course, to clean the place to a decent extent. It took a good amount of a day to make the place moderately habitable; it was necessary to remove spider webs, sweep the floor, dust off the mattress, open the windows and let the air fill the inside of a hut that was kept closed for too much time. When the cleaning was done they could finally put the found soap at good use and wash themselves. It was the first time Levi could properly cleanse himself since their escape from Wall Sina; the man was content, Eren witnessed the relieved expression that escaped his face then.

And so, everything was settled. They had a clean place to stay, clothes to dress, food in their stomachs, and an improvised bed laying near the fire pit. Outside, the world was getting darker, announcing that the day would be over soon, and Eren had everything already prepared.

That night would be the one, it was going to happen. Finally. The young man patted the pocket of his pants, thinking about its content. Would it please Levi at all? Or would he dislike it completely? He was a complex mixture of nerves and dread. But, his excitement was overpowering all kinds of negative feelings, to the point he was actually feeling brave in spite of his fear.

There was movement behind him. Eren's guts churned with anticipation. He turned. There he was, wearing his simple suit, his ever present cravat adorning his neck. The fire pit sent him its golden light, making him seem an apparition. Eren noticed he was carrying himself with his usual composure, but his gray eyes were averted as if, somehow, he was feeling suddenly shy. Eren's chest swelled, his throbbing heart racing by the sight. What a beautiful man.

Slowly he walked to him, and outstretched his hands for Levi to take. He did. Just as slowly, Eren guided him to the mattress, where he helped the man to kneel. He kneeled in front. Then, Eren took what laid beside him; and old curtain he found in the hut, and that he made sure to wash to cleanliness. Under Levi's expectant eyes, the young man surrounded the man with the curtain, soon pulling it above their heads, until they were both enveloped by a cocoon of translucent fabric. It was like the mere curtain was capable of casting a spell; with that little detail, the moment actually felt like an union ceremony.

At that moment, before going any further, their eyes locked. Levi's orbs shone with an odd glitter, and it had nothing to do with the fire pit. Captured by that enticing glance, Eren drew nearer and nearer, he wrapped his arms fondly around the man's slender body, and made their foreheads rest against each other. There, the young man played lovingly with their noses, and softly caressed his way to Levi's ear.

–Levi, I promise you that as long as I have you, I'll never give up on living –Eren claimed, pouring his very soul in his words–. But I want to be more than your lover. I want to share my life with you, would you let me? –he asked softly. Levi stood silent for a moment. Eren's chest got tighter with each passing moment.

–Yes –the man finally said back, with an almost broken murmur.

–Will you share yours with me?

–Yes –Levi whispered again. Eren's face split into the biggest smile he could make, his eyes watering slightly, his guts overjoyed. He hurriedly rummaged in his pocket to extract a small object. He placed it into Levi's hand. The next moment, the man stiffened, as if not daring to give a look at it.

–Is yours if you want it. You don't have to wear it, I just wanted to give you something –he explained. Just then, the man stared at his hand, taking in the round, silvery item. Eren swallowed a tight knot in his throat, while waiting for some reaction.

–Put it –the man ordered suddenly. Eren, almost surprised, quickly obliged. Carefully, he slid the plain ring in the finger that better fit–. There's no going back after this, you know that? –Levi asked in a low, serious tone–. I'll believe in your word.

–You better do –he whispered back.

Levi huffed, but all protest was quickly silenced by a fervent kiss.

Lips over lips, tongue clashing against tongue, they kept devouring each other while Eren pulled Levi over his lap. Still kissing, his hand struggled against the cravat and the first buttons of the man's shirt. Once Levi's neck was free of all garments, Eren assaulted it with his mouth, earning a high moan from him. Following the cravat went the jacket, the shirt, and only bandages were left. Then, carefully, very carefully, he lowered Levi until he was safely laying over the cushioned surface. After quickly taking off his own shirt, Eren took his time in denuding Levi's lower half. Slowly, he slipped the pants off through his slender legs, until the man was nothing but bared skin, flushed cheeks and half lidded eyes. He wasted no time in taking off the rest of his own clothes. Then, he hovered over Levi's slim figure, supporting his weight in his arms and legs. Eren leaned to kiss the man, very delicately. A pair of hands enveloped his shoulders.

And a pair of legs were spreading to give him access.

–No. I don't want to hurt you –he murmured against Levi's lips. Smiling fondly at the man's little protest, he guided him to lie on his side. Right before, he brought his fingers to his mouth, to moisten them.

He prepared Levi with utmost care, his fingers giving into the warm interior with loving strokes, while he rained kisses on his temple, his cheek, his neck, and down to his shoulder. Drowning into the man's gasps, Eren went deeper and deeper.

–Eren –Levi whispered in between panting–. Hurry.

He fell on his side behind the man and positioned himself. Carefully, he pushed. Hot flesh opened to let him pass. Glorious warmth welcomed him. Not letting himself get lost in the immediate pleasure, he enveloped the man with his arms and, just as carefully, he rolled them over. Their connection deepened instantly. Levi trembled.

–Eren? What…? –the man questioned out of breath. He hushed him gently, enchanted by the sensation of the man's weight atop him, back against chest.

–This way it won't be painful –he murmured back, dragging softly his hands over Levi's nude skin. Just as softly, he started rocking his hips from underneath.

He pulled off slow movements, looking for the right way to sway his pelvis, to place his legs. Levi's increasing moans told him he was succeeding. It took him a good effort not to give right into the bliss. Instead of accelerating his ministrations, he established a tender pace, taking his time in going all the way in, taking care his thrusts were soft and gentle. It allowed him to feel more, it made him feel everything.

Time stopped. The world stopped. Inside these four walls, under this roof, another time was taking place. A slower one, an eternal one. And a new world was taking shape. One in which they took part of an union conformed by them two. Love making felt different in this world. As a first time. And maybe, as a last one too. Because the connection of their sweating bodies, the fulfillment of their desire meant something more. Something deeper. As he swayed his hips into Levi's, clinging to him, listening to his sweet moaning, feeling their interlocked fingers, it was his very being what he was offering. And Levi's very being what he was being offered in return.

It lasted a small eternity. Little by little, pleasure seized him. Joy seized him. Levi's moaning heightened, his insides clenched, his back arched. They were ready to go flying. Eren released just in time Levi cried in ecstasy. And then, they flew. To a different time and place where they were the gods of their existence. Gods that fused into one embrace.

–No. Stay there a little longer –the man whispered when he was about to let go. So he stayed, still connected in the most intimate way they could. While regaining his breath, he blindly looked for Levi's hand. The ring glowed with the light of the burning fire pit, standing proud on the man's slender finger. Eren brought it to his lips and kissed it adoringly.

Damn, Eren thought, they were finally one another's. Everything outside the hut's door was completely messed up, everything, but it didn't matter as much as before, because they were finally one another's. Because he was blessed with the existence of this man.


	11. Epilogue

**The whole fault**

Epilogue:

It was night. The poor makeshift camp was how we had to spend it. Hanji was away, looking for more wood to keep the fire going. And opposite to us, across the dying fire, sat Erwin.

You had insisted that there was no time to sleep, that you had to stay awake and alert for you didn't trust that man. For you didn't trust the night. But you couldn't fight the sleep forever. So you made me sit in your lap, right between your legs, while you held my tight in your slumber. A security measure you said. And I could hear your soft snores right above my ear, knowing that, probably, that was the safest place for me to be.

The fire pit made a sound. You moved unnerved in your sleep. I shushed you, bringing a hand to stroke your hair. You kept sleeping. I was glad.

A pair of eyes bore into us. I could feel them from across the fire.

–I still don't understand what you saw in him –Erwin said in a low voice. I raised my eyes at the sudden comment. But I didn't find it in myself to react with hostility, not even to avoid the silent question. A natural response came out of my mouth.

–He had something that I didn't.

–What?

–Even with everything against him, he dared to think he had the right to do what he wanted. And he convinced me I could do the same –I responded, sending Erwin a glare. He averted his eyes.

Whatever crude judgement he was having about how mistaken we were, he had not the balls to say it. It was amusing. Because, yes, we were guilty. You and me. We were despicable beings who had chosen to pursue our personal whims instead of the greater good. And I couldn't be more satisfied with my choice. I had the whole fault, it surrounded my finger in the shape of a ring. And it felt fucking good.

FIN.


End file.
